Tuesday, August 28, 2012

The beginning.

After another unexpected break from my studies I find myself heading back to campus tonight. Its the first time since December of 2011 doing so.

I don't know how I feel. I know I should finish. I know I need to finish. I know I am so close to getting that degree I once was so desperate for that to give up now would be ridiculous.

But on the other-which there is always on the other hand-I am exhausted. My commute is getting longer, my son is getting older. I wanted another one and with the rate I am going, its not going to happen. Studying seems the furthest thing on my mind these days. I just don't have the drive like I used to. Its not that I don't want that degree, its just.

Life happens.

Still I am trying to push myself. Trying to tell myself its just one class this semester-thank god-and you can do it. One day soon you will be walking across that stage, and your son will be looking down at you and cheering for you. Because he is that kind of kid. You will tell him in years to come that somehow I did what was told impossible for me to do in high school. I would be a college graduate. Who cares if the degree isn't all that fancy. And in years to come the fact it took me ten years plus will be irrelevant.

I will be done.

I remind myself that I am a Senior now, this for some reason just sounds a lot better. I am that much closer. To give up now, would be like admitting defeat. Being a coward. Neither I am willing to do. And if this isn't working I remind myself its just the first day blues. The realization that weekends will now be consumed with studying and papers and projects. And its just the thought that is hard and depressing. Especially on the first day. Give it some time. A week or two in and it will be routine once more.

And if nothing more.

In 16 weeks....it will be all said and done for the semester.

At least for a month and a half anyhow.

Friday, August 24, 2012

Friday Five-Strawberries.

Well now here is a Friday Five I can get behind. Since Strawberries just happen to be one of my favorites..So lets just cut to the chase and get on with it then shall we?

1. What is your favorite way to eat strawberries?

Straight up. Seriously nothing fancy, they in my mind are wonderful just the way they are. However that being said, if I get a little craving, just the right amount of cool-whip can be fantastic.

2. What is your favorite strawberry flavored food or beverage?

Gummy bears or fruit chews that are strawberry flavored. Yes in deed.. I could eat those things up any day.

3. What object in your line of sight is strawberry-colored?

 The office wall. Yes thats right, we have a bright red office wall. I stare at it all day.

4. What geographic location near you could be much cooler if its name were modified to contain the word strawberry, and what would this new name be?

Hmm, The Valleys out west perhaps.  For no other reason than the other things around, seem stupid. So the name would then be Shennandoah Strawberry Valley. Quite appropriate.

5. Here are 500 Wikipedia articles with the world strawberry in their titles. What’s something interesting you learned from one of them?

That there are two places in the U.S.A that are named Strawberry. Yeah I didn't have much time to actually do research here....Obviously.

And there you have it, my Friday Five. Have another fabulous weekend folks!

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Wishing and hoping.

So I came across something interesting today while investigating. It just may be something.
Or it could be nothing and I am thinking it is.
While I will give nothing away, and will keep my mouth shut for the moment.
I will however keep my fingers crossed until further notice.

Please. Please. Please.

Monday, August 20, 2012

From zero to150

A few weeks ago I sat behind my cube counting down to vacation. I stared at the minor things I had to do on my desk. None of which looking back now seemed all to import. They were your average day to day routine sort of stuff. Supplies. Setting up for a meeting. Retyping a memo from someone. A report here and there.

I knew in a lot of ways it was relatively easy. And to be honest. The work did not did not meet the full eight hours in a day. Let alone a full week.  And so I was loaned out to other departments, I made binders and sat for both the executive assistant and the receptionist. Because of cutbacks apparently.

Of course I didn't mind. I mean its a job, it did the job. And I was willing.

And then the boss came to me and told me that I would go from supporting the one group, to supporting two groups. Along with the reception and the EA. And all of sudden I went from zero to full speed ahead in regards to work. To the point of exhaustion. While I don't mind being busy, at times I feel like there does get a point where you are in fact to busy. If I am not pulled in one direction, I am pulled in another.

Today I barely had time to pee.

I will say, this supporting two groups has made me a better admin. I feel I have already become more organized, push harder and more willing to pay attention. So perhaps this whole supporting two groups does have its benefits 

Even if does exhaust me.

Now I know I am not going to be covering the reception desk forever as one of the receptionist is out on vacation til Wednesday. But I am going to be covering both the two groups projects for the rest of the time being.  And somehow I must learn to manage this full speed ahead ordeal before it drives me insane.

Friday, August 17, 2012

Friday Five-Statehood.

Well folks it is Friday. Thank the lord. I have to say I am slacking lately in updating the blog. Seems I have not been in my right frame of mind since returning from vacation. Hopefully this will change. But for the meantime, enjoy some Friday Five Questions. This weeks theme: Statehood.

1. Hawaii’s nickname is the Aloha State. If your neighborhood were to be admitted as the fifty-first state, what would be its nickname?

Living in Centreville VA, the town -when it was name - was the halfway point between Warrenton and DC, and the hub of a lot of things. The Civil War was fought here. It was a stopping place for officials for the night and meeting places for generals. Picnics and festivals would be held here. For this I would probably call it 'Center of it all' 

2. What do you own fifty of?

Pens. I have a thing for collecting them apparently. Hotels, state line rest stops. Mickey, Minnie...restaurants. Black, blue, purple and red. It seems I am growing quite the collection. I don't really use half of them either which is kind of sad. But for some reason I apparently have them just laying around. Because well you never know when your going to need one.

3. What’s the nicest beach you’ve been to?

Probably Vero Beach in Florida...it was just so peaceful, relaxing and I loved the sea turtle life right on the beach...I dif recommend it.

4.A pizza with ham and pineapple is often called a Hawaiian pizza (something that annoys many of us who live here and can’t stand that flavor combination). If you live in Hawaii, what should rightfully be called a Hawaiian pizza, and if you live elsewhere, what would go on the pizza named after your area?

Ah DC metro area has a lot of transit people. So I would make it an everything pizza. You name it, it would go on it. I know its not very original but not to many locals or people that are born here, stay here. So you need to appeal to everyone.

5. What mental and emotional states do you hope to attain this weekend? 

The state of I don't care and I am not going to think about it until Monday.  Why? Because really I just don't really feel like doing anything and work is the last think I want to think about.

May you all have a fabulous rest of your Friday and even better weekend!

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Brothers of the Sun.

Well its official. Summer has just about come to an end. Sure labor day has yet to hit. But for me, it is all about over. And how do I know this? Kenny Chesney has come and gone. And as always and a must for me, I spent my Sunday amongst thousands at FedEx field hoping just maybe to make the summer last that much longer..  This year's tour included however Tim McGraw as part of the Brothers of the Sun tour. And like so many years in the past this years show did not disappoint. On stage, the performances were exciting. Tim's songs seemed to only add to Kenny's already incredible set. Though I have to say as a fan of Kenny's I tend to prefer his set more. This is just me though.

But what I want to touch upon this year is not the entertainment on stage. Because for the most part-and if you are someone who has repeatedly gone to his shows you know-Kenny's shows don't change much from year to year. The songs may vary slightly but the shows for the most part stay the same. So we will not talk about this. Rather I will talk about the entertainment off the field. Because sometimes this may be just as entertaining and thought pondering enough as the show on stage itself.

This years crowd brought out the drunk in people.

In fact it is perhaps the most amount of drunks I have ever seen at a Kenny concert. I know, it has become almost a sort of expectations that when you go to a Kenny show, you drink. Sort of the same thing as Buffet, but usually I have been able to go and not feel as though I am the only one not drunk. But this year, I felt. Just that. The only non drunk.  I don't mind people drinking, truly I don't. Its not something I enjoy but whatever. What I do mind is the fact that people get so drunk, and there are so many of them that it becomes sort of a distraction and makes the show a little less distracting. I don't enjoy getting puked on by the guy behind me and then after he goes for more beer. Because apparently that is exactly what he needs more of. Or the guy in front of us that is so drunk he pretty much starts disrespecting his fiance and getting totally in her face to the point you feel sorry for her. I expected him to start punching her. Thankfully he passed out before he did so. 

Granted there were the drunk fights, the hauling away in handcuffs because of something one drunk guy said to another. Again to be expected. But I don't enjoy watching a guy completely lose everything for twenty minutes and when they finally take him away on the stretcher he is wearing a barf bag. I begin to wonder how anyone can truly enjoy themselves if they are that gone. I did not spend that kind of money to get thrown out, that plastered and that embarrassed myself.

Some songs say it all....

As Tim's Live like you were dying came on the guy in front of us grabbed his wife and started slowing dancing. His friend beside us followed suit.  Then out of the blue, they broke down and cried. Three grown men, all ex military. And they cried. I sat watching and for some reason I was just really touched. So much so that I began to cry.  I mean the song is pretty, but for some reason, it just got to me. After we found out the men had just lost their father. Totally made since.

Twenty minutes later one of them was taken off in handcuffs after getting in a fight...

And some outfits are better left at home.

Yes cowboy boots are great, and hey this is after all a country concert. And bikinis are perfect for the summer. So are cut offs, tank tops and sundresses. But sometimes these things don't mix. And while I give mad props to people that try to pull it off, wearing shorts that are five times to small and shirts that expose a little to much, I would rather not see. No I am not saying that you can't wear these things. But wearing something that actually fits and is your size, goes a long way. And believe me, makes you look a hell of a lot more attractive. No matter what sex you are. I know there were guys out there that could have been schooled in some fashion 101.

Yes, I have learned a lot this year from the show. At times I was annoyed-again the whole puking on thing just wasn't enjoyable.-at times I was amused-like the woman behind me giving me the bedroom look and telling me she would do anything right now-and at times I was touched-as already explained.

But you better believe I will be right back in those stands again next year.

After all, its Kenny. How could I not?

Saturday, August 11, 2012

No matter the color.

Sometimes I marvel at just how much one piece of medal can bring so much happiness to some. And yet is not enough for others.

As I have been doing so for the past two weeks now I sat in my living room watching as another athlete stepped on the podium, took a hold of the flowers they were handed and bent down to receive their medal.

Their look on their face was almost a spitting image of Maroney's reaction to winning silver. I wondered when taking home such was considered a failure. Is it the pressure? Is it their country and the emphasis that nothing is acceptable besides a gold? Is it their own self who sees such a thing as not winning but being the last loser? Not the winner? I don't know but for whatever reason these athletes feel the need to stand up and give a sour face. They look disappointed. Sure I get it, you train every day you fight every day. This is your dream. And in a matter of seconds, you fall or your hand isn't the fastest to touch the pool. And your dream of that gold is now a dream of silver.

But at the same time, its freaking silver people? I for one thought Maroney's chances of even getting on the podium fell off the waste side the moment she fell. Shouldn't she knowing this be happy with this silver instead of looking like she is so un-thrilled?

Yes, solver can be so disappointing

And yet...

There are so many who don't even expect to medal at all that when they do, it is not the look of disappoint but the one of pure joy. The happiness no matter what color seems to be so thrilling to them. This is the one I expect from top athletes.  After all, its not every day that someone will be an Olympian. Call themselves a winner. You are among the top of the top. Whether its first, second or third place. You are at your best.

With the games coming to an end tomorrow I just have one simple advice and request from those still competing. Be proud of yourself, of your achievements and your accomplishments. For you are among the few that have done what you are doing. Stand up there, not in tears of what could have been. But for what you have done.

And smile.
It is far better to be remembered as the silver medalist than the girl that pitched a fit on the podium.

Friday, August 10, 2012

Five Question Friday-Miscatagorized.

After a couple weeks of not being in town, I am once again returning to my old ways. Which means, bringing my Friday Five back as well. So here it is, this weeks theme: MisCategorized.

1. What public behavior is not a crime but should be?

Wearing baggy pants below your junk. I am sorry I do not need to see it. And while this may seem unfair to men. I will add there are a lot of females that let everything hang out in certain clothing. Yeah I would rule those out as well. And I know you know exactly what I am talking about here.

2.What food item doesn’t have a recommended daily allowance but should?

Tough call here, since as I am racking my brain. I suppose junk food. I mean hey sometimes you just want a good oreo cookie and you don't care about the rest...nor should you.

3. What’s not a word but should be?


Because, it is that fantastic of a word. Thank you Sue Sylvester...

What day of the year is not a holiday but should be? (Yes: I’ve used this question before, but I never get tired of it!)

The day after 4th of July, or rather July 5th. Because everyone is celebrating the 4th, and I have always thought it ridiculous that we have to come back in, after all most of the celebrating happens after nightfall...

What behavior is not generally a professional expectation but should be?

I moved cubes recently and am sitting by quite a lot of managers. Which is fine, until they all have conference calls going at the same time. And none of them close their doors...I would like to think out of respect for everyone, please close your doors during conference calls on loud speakers...please.

And there you have it folks. Have a fantabulous weekend!

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Will he or won't he?

For the better part of the past two weeks the office water cooler has been humming about the Olympics. For good reason of course. And while Michael Phelps's participation may have come to an end last weekend, the talk surrounding him here has not.

The most common debate. Will he or won't he? Retire, not try for Rio in four years, call it quits. It seems a pretty even split some believing that yes he truly is done. While others doubt him, saying the love for the sport and his seeming to be competitive nature will have him not only missing it, but determined to return. After all in four years he will only be 31. And they are willing to put money down there will be another incentive. Ryan Lochte. And as long as he is going to attempt to defeat Phelps, Phelps in return will answer.

It seems as though most analyst agree.

But here is the thing. If he continues, and goes on to Rio what then? Lets say he makes it through trials but doesn't live up to the expectations he has had of the past two games? I can only imagine the headlines, the discussions then of him being the athlete that has peaked and will never be as good as he once was. At that point people will question his motives in coming, saying how he should have stepped aside for the sake of a new swimmer.

Yes I get the wanting to be on top for as long as possible, but really wouldn't it be better for him to go out while he still is on top? And shouldn't we just be happy for him and his twenty-two medals. After all I am pretty sure its a record that is going to be hard to break. At least for a good long while anyhow.

I for one would rather him end on top than to be like so many athletes, Favre comes to mind. Who were so wonderful in their day, their peak and yet they refused to say enough when they should have. And so what happens? They turn into the laughing stock of the league. Of the nation.

They get hurt, they quit. They resign. In hopes for that fame they once had....when really they should have said enough was enough when they had a chance.

They should have gone out as champions.

I am not saying I want Phelps to really quit, because I admit it would be hard. I loved watching him perform at his best. But at the same time, maybe I don't..

Maybe there is something to be said as going out on top.

Monday, August 6, 2012

The new normal

Perhaps I should get used to this. My new normal. Though what that is, is beyond me. Its knowing now, whenever I have pain in my stomach it means a trip to the hospital. Just to be sure. Because well you never know. It means random spasms and bloating for no apparent reasons. And it means that no doctor can really give me a full answer because they aren't even sure exactly what is going on.

This is my new normal.

It means things could be going well for a few months that I totally forget the fact I had three surgeries last year. So well that you would never even know this. And in the next instant, a minor stomach pains means something so much more. Leaves me questioning things.

This is my new normal.

I try not to think about how my life has changed in the year and a half. The weight I have lost, the appetite I have lost. I have tried to focus on things like my son, and my husband. And the good things in life that I have had. Because otherwise the fear that something would return and send me back into the hospital and on the surgery table

Sometimes its a lot easier said than done.

Especially when that pain comes so unexpected. And you know exactly what that means. You push yourself as much as you can to avoid the inevitable. But in the back of your mind you know its just a matter of time before you call the doctor and hear the words that you don't want to hear at all.

This is the sort of normal you have to get used to...

Like it or not.

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Not always the hometown fan....

Nearly a week into the games I have found myself in full Olympic mode. I can't help it I just can't seem to get enough. I run home, throw off my heels and turn on whatever event they may be showing and start cheering sometimes at the top of my lungs.

But I have found something else out. Sometimes that cheering? Well it isn't just for the home team, or the favorite. In fact sometimes its not even for any of the people that are in the hunt for silver or bronze. Perhaps I should be ashamed for admitting this.

Don't get me wrong. I am proud to be an American. I love my home country. But that doesn't mean I don't think other countries/athletes are any less deserving. Maybe I will blame it on the stories, those behind the athlete stories that they present. The ones that make you want to cry because their mother gave up everything to drive them to practice. Or the ones about their hometowns rebuilding after the hurricane/earthquake/natural disaster. And how they overcame so many obstacles along the way.

And often I think well look at so and so, they weren't even supposed to be here. Its those moments that stops me. Because right then I know I should be rooting for the US but at the same time  I find myself rooting for them as well. The unkown little country, or the host country or whomever. Sure they may be the underdog and there seems to be no shot in hell that they will beat Phelps or Franklin but still, you never know. Even the most invincible seem to fall under pressure.

I suppose this is the great thing about the sports. For a moment things are put aside. For a moment an American can fall in love with an Australian. Can find them selves bawling when the Canadian anthem is being played. Or cheering when a Japanese swimmer puts up a fight in the pool. And not have to feel guilty that they are doing so.

Because for a moment.So is the rest of the world.

Go Team Go.

No matter what color,you wear, what language you speak or what country you represent.