The Casual Vacancy. My review.

I will start by saying this. I have never read a single Harry Potter book. I have never had any interest in reading them. So when I picked up J.K. Rowling's The Casual Vacancy  at a local used book store I thought I had an advantage of those that had. Because unlike them, I did not have the ability to judge this book based upon the beloved series.

I will also say I wanted to like this book. I had heard so many mixed reviews but did not allow myself to judge until I read it myself. 

I found it hard to follow in a lot of ways. I did not like the way there was no breaks in between scenes. Rather just an endless amount of ramble from one to the next. Perhaps this is my biggest qualm about the book itself. I also found there were far to many characters for my liking. I should have kept notes to figure out who was who and often got lost in determining who belonged to whom.

Maybe in this case, it was more like a scene from Love Actually. In fact perhaps I could see it being more of one. It may even be better in that sense. Along with a supporting cast.

As for the story itself, I thought it dragged on a little to much, and at times dull. Yes I said it. I thought about giving up on it, but am not that kind of person and I really really hoped it was going to get better the further I went into the 500+ page book. Sadly it did not and I found myself seemingly just going through the motions to finish. I will go as far as admitting there were several pages I probably flaked out on towards the end of the book. I just wanted it done.

Was it the worst book I have ever read? No. There were some good pages, as few as I saw there was. But I doubt I will consider this one to add to my must read again books.

In fact, it will probably be going right back to the used book store where it will sit with the five other copies that was available. 

Dear Kristin Hannah

Dear Kristin Hannah-

As a reader I am in love with you. I am sure you hear this a lot. How often do I run across someone while sitting on the local metro reading one of your books, and a complete stranger will say so. 'Don't you just love her.' But its true, I love you. Because you truly are that good. Not many books make me feel every emotion. But yours do. I laugh, I cry. I get angry-to the point I want to throw the damn thing across the room.-But mostly I cry. I specifically recall a moment in particular. When I was on the metro, reading Home Front. I was at a really good point to. The doors opened and chimed, riders got on and off. Usually I pay no attention to them. The seat beside me was empty and I feel a gentlemen come up. 'May I sit here?' He asked. I look up.

And have to pull out my sunglasses to avoid the tears I had already felt rising. He was in uniform. I tell him he can sit and he does. And I try to go back to my book, the man sitting beside me flips through a magazine. Somewhere I realize I have read the same line four times-its right at a good point of the book. But I can't concentrate because the man in uniform seems so different now. After what I had just read, my heart bleeds for him that much more. You brought me on to the battlefield, and I lost. I was there. Even if it was through a book, I suddenly felt like I knew so much more about it. And with the guy in uniform sitting beside me, I couldn't read it any further. I closed the book and sat in silence the entire way home out of DC.

And cried.

I used to hate this, reading these kind of books and crying. Especially in such an open place. It made me feel weak and silly because after all, its just a book. These characters aren't real. Despite what I may think otherwise, they aren't. But yours, are so much more than just a book. And your characters, come to life. If this makes any sense at all. I am pretty sure it doesn't. Now however, I relish these kind of books, because they are few and far between that can do so. And I know that this does not mean the book is terrible or that I am silly. It means its a good book. No scratch that, its a fantastic book. Because it does make me feel. With everything I have. 

So yes, as a reader I am in love you.

But as a writer, I hate you. Yes, I am aware hate is a strong word.  I do not hate you in the way one hates Lima beans, or math. Both I fully admit to hating. But rather because you truly are that good. Because you make me want to be better writer myself. Because I find myself pen in hand, rereading one of my several pieces of work-none of which have yet to be complete-thinking, this is so not what Hannah would do. I know this is unfair to my self. I am not you. I should not compare me to you. A professional who has had several scripts already turned into books. I am a novice who only at the moment aspires to be something greater. I know I am far off, and have a long way to go before I can even regard myself in the same category with the likes of you. Though should this ever happen would be an honor in itself.

But compare myself I do, so often my husband has to remind me to stop trying to be like you, and to be like me. Still, I want to be that kind of writer that makes her readers cry. And feel something. Maybe it won't exactly be to cry, because as I have mentioned very few can. But to make them feel an emotion as strong as you make me feel in any of your given books would be a win in my column. I have a long way to go.

Nor can I write when I am reading you. Its a habit I try to break. But I can't, maybe because I am comparing, and I know I need to stop. Or maybe because while I am reading your books something will go off and a whole other idea will form and then I must write, and I will not be happy until I get it down. Which means abandoning your lovely work and get to my own. In the past, I have not minded this, but your books are to good to not pay attention to. And so I abandon my own, because I have to know what happens to Kate, or Tully. To Jolene and Michael. Or to whichever character I am at the moment invested in. I  can't just not know.

I am pretty sure you knew this to.

And so I applaud you Ms. Hannah. Because while I may hate that you are as brilliant as you are. I love you for that very same reason. My only hope is that one day, I will be able to thank you in my liner notes.