Wednesday, August 31, 2011

A Leap.

Sometimes all it takes is one leap.

I got a phone call about a week ago regarding a job opening with Fairfax County Schools that I applied to. They wanted me in for an interview. I sat there and thought, this was supposed to be easy. I was supposed to just be able to jump up and scream yes.

So why wasn't it? Why couldn't I?

Because I did have a job. Because I didn't need to look technically. And yet something told me to go ahead, call them and at least see what the deal was.  So I did. And as told, I scheduled myself for an interview.

Now all I had to do was sit and wait it out through an entire weekend where I had time to think and prepare. To worry and hope. To get my nerves in tact and yet pump myself up at the same time.

And when Monday came, and I walked into the office. I felt really good. Seriously. I found myself from the very moment thinking this is a place I could work. I could see myself fitting in here. As they described the details of the job, I thought. I could do this. This job was totally made for me. I wanted to stand and shout, to scream and say yes yes yes. But I knew I had to be professional and so I didn't I answered the best way I could. I did the best that I could. And in the end I left feeling good about myself. Truly I did.

And now?

Well now its the waiting game....
Here is to crossing my fingers that its better than I could imagine a week ago.

Because I really really want this...

Friday, August 26, 2011

Five Question Friday. 8/26

1. What is your favorite type of food? (Mexican, Italian, etc)
American. I have to say I am not very adventurous when it comes to food. I like my things simple and basic. I think I could eat Chicken/Turkey along with rice and veggies til the cow comes home. Nothing fancy.

2. What is the name of your favorite restaurant?
Logan's Steakhouse for dinner. Yorkie's for lunch. I will even say I get the same thing every time I am there.

3. Do you like fast food?
Umm do you classify Subway as fast food. If so yes, if no. Then no. Not at all.

4. Do you prefer to be alone or with a group when eating out?
Usually when I am at work or during school nights, leave me alone. I would rather eat by myself. Reading my book or studying. But I have to say, I would much rather eat with my family than by myself. As for a group, to many and I feel overwhelmed. The introvert in me begins to freak if its more than I can handle.

5. Do the waiters/waitresses know you by name at your favorite restaurant.
You bet! Not only that but they know our orders as well. Well at least at Yorkies, the waitresses know my entire family by name, and have since day one. They have pretty much adopted my son as their nephew and grandson, and we exchange cards and Christmas gifts...its quite very cool to have them as our extended family. As for Logan's not exactly sure but they know us well enough to be friendly and all. Again it is all very cool to be able to walk into a restaurant and know they know your name. Its like having your very own Cheers moment.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Little Earthquakes.

If you would have asked me yesterday morning if I would soon find myself, along with a good portion of the East Coast in the middle of an Earthquake. I probably would have laughed at you.

Well let me be the first to say I take it all back now.

It was right around lunch time. I had my microwaveable soup in nuking when one of my bosses, whom hasn't said so much of three words to me in about two and a half weeks actually spoke to me. Yes, that's right. He spoke. I grabbed my lunch headed back to my desk, where I just about tweeted the fact that I felt the Earth move when he spoke.

'OMG did you feel the ground shake? The boss just spoke to me. Did you feel it? Did ya, did ya?.' I had in the tweet ready box. I was about to push send when someone came up needing help, leaving me to abandon my tweet, and my lunch. By the time I returned to the box, the moment had past as did my tweet.

I finished my lunch and went back to doing the report that I had been doing before being interrupted. At this point nothing was unusual, it was still gorgeous, and other than the fact that all of a sudden everything was taking a lot longer to go through, it was business as usual.

And then, at 1:51 in the afternoon, the building began to shake. It was soft at first. My first thought was the construction site beside us was drilling. But the soft pounding soon became a low rumble, and I knew it was more than just a little construction beside us. No one around me said anything we were all just sitting. I said to myself, Earthquake, holy shit this is an earthquake. I know I probably should have climbed under my desk, covered my head. But instead I just sat there, staring at my screen... trying to get the tweet out.

holy cow Earthquake.

Maybe I should have been a little more scared. Probably, but I just sat there as the building shook, listening to the eerie sound of things swaying back and forth. I think it was the eeriest sound I have ever heard. I sat as the lights above flirted on and off, as the things around me toppled down. Stunned that here I was in the middle of SE DC going through something that will probably never happen again.

At least not in my lifetime.

It lasted for just about a minute and when the tremors finally stopped, I realized our building hadn't officially. And despite the fact I said I wasn't scared. I was shaking. Did I just go through that? Moments later they yanked us out of the building, informing us it wasn't safe and I made my way down the four flights of stairs and out to the parking lot where I stared up at my fourth floor office waiting for something to fall.

It never did. Still they weren't about to have us return any time soon, so I did my best to get a hold of people. My mom for instance who I knew would be having a fit, my husband. Neither of whom I got a hold of right away. I texted my sister in NC only to realize they had been through the same thing, though not as strong.

My husband finally got a hold of me, he was already back in his office watching the television, which by now every station in America was covering it. A 5.8 magnitude, nothing major to those west coasters but pretty big to those of us back here. It was felt from GA to Canada, and was centered in VA. Great.

It took my company a little over a half hour before they allowed us back in and by that time half the city was already being evacuated.

Precautionary measures.

And while my company didn't officially close, Andy's did, and since we carpool, we both found ourselves scooting out of the city with the rest. We sat in traffic and listened to the local radio station as citizens recalled their experiences, which all seemed to be the same after the fifth caller. And when we got home we sat in front of the television where the news overplayed everything.

Over and over. Just in case, you were the one sole person who lived in that cave and may have missed it.

Well @sweetaleisha, to answer your own tweet. Yes, yes I did feel the ground shake.

Monday, August 22, 2011

The Dr. is in.

Its confession time.

I am a caffeine junkie. I like my sodas, I like my sweet teas. Yes I know they aren't healthy for me. Yes I know the root my teeth, cause tooth aches and will supposedly pack on the pounds in years to come.

And you know what?

I don't really care.

I was reading an article this afternoon, informing me of snacks that I think are healthy that aren't. I sat there skimming-because do I really want to know?- about how pretzels are horrible for me. How I will die an early death if I continue to drink sodas, and how I should stay away from that veggie burger because I am probably better off just ordering that juicy fatty beef burger. Again I will repeat, in a lot of ways I don't really care.
Because two weeks from now I am going to be reading that apples aren't great for me, or that flavored water is horrible. Don't believe me, just give it some time. Or rather, Google it. I am sure somewhere, someone has written about it. Because it seems as though anymore, anything is bad for me. And isn't life already a struggle enough as it is, do I really need to determine I need to cut this out as well? No I don't think so. Lets not mention the fact that I am allergic to dairy, beef, pork, oils, and just about everything else you can think of. I eat half the time plain, bland foods. And I like it this way. I can't indulge in thousands of sweets at the end of the night, and on the occasion that I do, its the best dessert around. I could care less even that it has thousands of calories and to many grams of fat to mention. I enjoy it, I consume it because I want to..because I like it.

And because, considering all my allergies, I think I deserve to have a guilty pleasure. Seriously, you try my allergy diet, it has to be pretty healthy as it is. I could only imagine what I would waste away to if I gave up my sodas as well.

Should I cut back? Probably. I crave it just as much as my husband used to crave his cigarettes.

Now I admit lately, I have been doing just that, cutting back that is. But I don't think I need to be told this. I know its unhealthy for me. I know that I may live to regret it one day. And I will give you full disclosure to sit there and laugh at me and tell me 'I told you so.' When the time comes of course.

Until then, I will go on enjoying my caffeine filled, pretzel loving ways. Thank you very much.

Phew. I think I need a drink.

Friday, August 19, 2011

Five Question Friday-8/19

This Fridays theme, sticky....

1. Whats the last song that got stuck in your head and wouldn't go away?
Defying Gravity, from the musical Wicked. Though I am pretty sure the fact I went and saw it at the Kennedy had something to do with it. I still found myself singing it all day, in fact two days later, its still there thank you very much.

2. Whats something that sticks around long after you wish it would leave?
The smell of skunk, ever tried to get rid of the smell? Yeah it takes forever, not a pleasant one, and surely one I would rather not remember. I don't know what worse, getting the smell on your clothes, or the car. I mean at least you can burn and trash the clothes, but the car on the other hand, umm yeah not so much.

3. To what use did you put your last sticky notes

I am believe it or not an office supply junkie. I used to love school just so I could get new supplies. Which means I pretty much use sticky notes for everything. The last thing I used it for was to price out how much a vacation to Europe would be. Flight info, hotel info. Etc.. I usually proceed to lose them and then have to start all over again, so I tend to write the same thing on every sticky at least five times.

4. When did you last have Pixie Stix?
This past May. My husband and his work were attending an Elementary School event, in which the Gym teacher thanked them by creating a basket of goodies. I snuck in and grabbed one of the pixie stix, since it had been ages since having one. Pure sugar. For some reason, they weren't quite as fabulous as I remember. Which was sort otf a bummer. They were the bomb when I was a kid.
5. What is something your a stickler for?
Saving money. Probably stems from my fear of going broke. But I find myself taking time and resources to save money whenever I can, including putting so much aside from each paycheck to make sure I am. I also throw change, and extra dollar bills we may find aside. Laugh, but this has gotten us a fully paid vacation a time or two. And always comes in handy on a rainy day. Of course I do think my husband gets annoyed with my sense of trying to save money. But will appreciate it one day.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

A Wicked good time.

I was brought up on musicals. Thanks in part to my older sister who got the acting bug early on, and never looked back. To this day she still satisfies her acting bug by acting in Raleigh's Little Theatre productions and teaches Musical Theatre in the Raleigh area.

So where am I going?

Right, as I have said I was brought up on musicals. I love them, I cherish them and if it wasn't for the fact I have not one ounce of singing ability-I wasn't the lucky one-I too probably would be doing something around theatre.

Still that doesn't mean I won't enjoy a good musical. And yesterday I was blessed with the opportunity to see one of the hottest shows around-Wicked. I had heard really great things about it, but after reading the book, which I quickly gave up on, I wasn't so sure. I mean sure I knew it was going to be good, but was it going to be great? Was it going to live up the hype I had for so long heard about?

The answer: It was positively Wickedly awesome.

The cast was amazing, the vocal talent was beyond anything I could dream about and they did a great job intertwining the classic story of the Wizard of OZ into it. I thought the little lines in the dialogue made for quite an entertaining evening, and show that any one can enjoy. Including the not so willing husbands who often get dragged to such things. Though I have to admit, I am a very lucky lady, whose husband actually wanted to see it.

As for the singing, incredible. Really, such powerful and strong voices, both leading ladies where just out right fantastic. Including the one time that Elphabia's mic went out for a second, even from the back of the theatre where I sat, I could hear her. Not an easy task. Especially during these days of Glee, and American Idol. And autotune.

Being the sister of a theatre teacher I sat there throughout most of the night, watching and observing how the stage worked. Could she pull it off? I came to the conclusion she would probably need another ten years to do so, though I don't doubt she would be able to pull it off. Because I know she could. But its just so elaborate. The stage and the scene changes were amazing. I don't think I could rave enough about this show.

In fact the only thing I hated, was the uncomfortable seats, and the fact it had to come to an end...

Monday, August 15, 2011

Money money money, must be funny...

My husband was raised around money.

I wasn't.

This of course often at times comes to head when it comes to financial responsibility in the household. It also happens to be a major issue and the start of the majority of our fights. It seems as though I forever worry about it. Him not so much.

I really don't think we are alone in the whole money issue/fights. Because I am pretty sure that for the better part of the couples, money seems to be the root of all evil.

So why do I worry? Because growing up, I was raised on hand-me-downs and coupons. My parents filed for bankruptcy when I was 12, I packed up everything, including my sisters stuff and helped my parents pack it into a U-haul.

It was the hardest things I think I have ever done.

And because of this, I have always had the fear of repeating it. Of going absolutely completely broke. I promised myself that I would do whatever I could to avoid it at all cost. I would be smart. I learned how to manage the money. How to save. How to do everything that my family

So when I married a man, who never had to worry about money, whose parents bought his cars it wasn't exactly the easiest of things. I was informed that I would be the one to teach the husband how to save, how to manage. Not an easy task considering for the first twenty eight years of his life he had for the most part, been taken care of.

At times it has worked, it has been a struggle but I think we are finally on the right track. We save, we are watching what we spend and for a short time all is well. And then something comes up, and we are right back to the way things were.

Its a struggle.

And just when I felt as though we were once again back on track, we have once again seemed to have fallen back off the wagon. Spending money as if we had it, not bringing lunches or rather I bring he doesn't. I have tried to explain that ten dollars here and ten dollars there, all adds up. But how do you explain to someone when they were raised so differently.

Its something that appears is going to be a constant battle.

Friday, August 12, 2011

Five Question Friday 8-12

Since its getting to be that time of the year, the questions are all school related.

1. Bully, teacher's pet, geek, shy kid in the corner, or something else?
I was the kind of kid that was more interested in learning than anything which probably makes me the geek, and yet I was also the shy kid in the corner. And I got bullied a lot, actually I don't know if bully is the right word. I was made fun of, pointed at, made fun of. So yes I guess it does. So lets sum it up. I was the shy geeky kid in the corner who was bullied.


2. What did you usually eat during lunch time at school?
I can't remember exactly what I ate, but I know my mom made my lunches on a daily basis. Nine times out of ten it was a sandwich, a bag of chips/pretzels and a hostess cupcake or cookie. And a pepsi/dr. pepper.

Yes this was pre we have to watch what goes in our kids mouths days. I will go as far as saying, I even had two sodas....

3. What did/do you normally wear to school, thinking back did you like what you wore?
I think I lived in my jeans, and my softball lightweight jacket. I think I could have lived in forever if you had asked me to. That and since I was in high school in the 90's, I tried to rock the Blossom, and Clueless looks. The babydoll dresses, combat boots, etc. I loved that look. I thought I was a total Betty....

4. Any sports/activities/clubs you participated in?
Forensics, and not the kind you see on NCIS, but speech. Perhaps I haven't mentioned my geekiness enough? Funny thing is now, I hate public speaking. I touched upon theatre, only to realize I am no actress. And I managed my softball team, because in truth I really really wanted those cool lightweight jackets and knew this was the way to get one. It turned out to be one of the best things about high school.

5. Any worthwhile friends you still keep in contact with after graduating?

Well thanks to Facebook, I have become 'friends' with half of my graduating class, whether they remember me or not. Though, most of them would know me as the girl with the crush on Sean....but as for friends friends?? I can count two I still keep in contact with from high school...

Go me!

Monday, August 8, 2011

Mommy I'm a big boy now.

Well it had to happen. Our little man had to grow up. And this weekend, was another step in the process. We decided after months of debate, to finally move Logan from a crib to a big boy bed.

A thought that made this mom sort of sad. My baby is no longer that. He is a growing toddler who is forming his own opinion, like the fact that his room was going to be what else: Cars.

We toyed back and forth between a toddler bed and a twin size bed. Was he really ready for the big boy big boy bed, but really how long would he stay in a toddler sized bed? In the end we stuck with a twin size-to which he even picked out-figuring he would stick in a hell of a lot longer than the toddler.

And as my husband put everything together and the last of the pillows were plopped on the bed, I looked around and didn't recognize any of it. The room and my son. When did my son grow up. I couldn't remember what it had looked like just a few hours ago with the crib in it.

Of course it is yet to be completed, the finishing touches will be done the end of this upcoming weekend. Now as long as we can get him to sleep in it, without an issue.

Then it will be considered a success.

Friday, August 5, 2011

Five Question Friday 8/5

1. Vow renewal ceremonies-yay or nay?
Yes! But I think people don't take them serious enough these days, I wouldn't necessarily do it for just any anniversary but for a major one, say twenty years or more sure why not. I think to many people are abusing the renew the vows on their 2nd, 3rd anniversaries.Why not save it for something big? Besides if you do it so early in the marriage I don't see it as anything special.
2. What sound/s annoy you the most?

The fax machine, which at the moment in the office still goes through dial-up. The screeching beep is enough to give me an 8 hour headache for the better part of the day. And why we still have the dial up here is beyond my comprehension, this is after all 2011.

3. If you had to pick, would you have only all boys, or only all girls for kids?

Hmm do I have to pick? I think I am blessed to get whatever I have. But considering I have son at the moment, and I absolutely love him to pieces right now, I guess I would have to say boys now wouldn't I? Besides I have a funny feeling the girls would bring a lot of drama into the house...

4. Do you believe in alternative medicine?

Yes, I think if you can get the help you need then why not. I would like to think everyone is given a chance, and if that means going out side the norm to do so than so be it. Whatever works for you.

5. Would you take a family members children and raise them if they needed it?

Yes. Family sticks together, and god forbid something were to ever happen to my sisters and my nephews needed something or someone to be there for them, I would step up to the plate. That is what families do. Besides, I don't know if I could deal with the thought of not seeing them again. Would it be hard, yes....but I would like to think if the roll was reversed they would do the same.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Don't believe everything you read.

While searching for information on tomorrow's meeting with the surgeon I decided to look up possible questions and concerns for the surgeon regarding the tear/hernia. Specifically when it comes to having another baby.

Before you freak, rest assured. I am not expecting, not right now. But we have always thought about having another one, probably in another year to year and a half. It has always been in our plans.

I got mixed reviews. There are some that would say wait til after you have a child if you are going to have surgery, and those that say otherwise. At this point I was just curious if by doing this surgery would prevent me from having a child at all.

That is it.

I felt that if I at least got a little information, and was prepared to ask, then it would be better to know before it actually happened. If it were to happen. Instead of not knowing, assuming everything would be ok and then find out later it isn't.

I call my mom for reasons I can't remember and we begin to discuss tomorrow's doctor appointment when I mention my inquiries. Now I was expecting her to tell me to hang in there, to go and listen to what the doctor has to say, that you never know. And to take one thing at a time. I know I shouldn't have expected to hear this,but I did. Because I was already down about the whole thing, about the possibility of having another surgery about having to change plans and what not.

But this is not what I got. Instead I was told how precious my one is, how she had been talking to my father and how they both think it would be better for me not to have any more anyway. I mean after all, with the two surgeries and the slight complications I had with Logan, wouldn't it just be better??

I sat on the other end listening as my mom went on about this and that. Stunned. This was not what I was expecting. This was not what I wanted to hear. I didn't know what to think anymore. I sat looking at my son's toys trying not to cry. Yes, he is adorable, yes he is a blessing. And I have thought, if I only have one then so be it. But I want to know that I can at least have the option of having another one.

We want another one

I had heard this before. From my inlaws who told me that they think we wouldn't be able to afford another child, and so we shouldn't have anymore. This was nothing new. But yet, coming from my own parents somehow hurt ten times worse than hearing it from my in-laws. Shouldn't we be the ones to decide this? I am no longer a kid, shouldn't I be the one to make the decisions?

And I have yet to see the surgeon, we have no idea what is really going to happen...there is a possibility that they may not even decide to do surgery after all. And then this would all be for nothing anyway.

Its best to be prepared.

I quickly changed the subject, but couldn't get it out of my head. Even now, as I sit and write this I can't get it out of here. Suddenly I don't know what to think or what to do. I was just saying I wanted to ask if it was an option. I wanted to be prepared. That was all...and now, I feel as though a year down the road should we decide to the family of three, I will not have the support of the family. I do not however tell her this. Instead I hang up and break down in the living room.

My husband asks me what I will do, and I say, we are going to go, and we are going to ask them. And we are going to find out. And everything will be alright.

Because I am pretty sure in the end.

Everything will be alright.

Monday, August 1, 2011

3rd times a charm?

Dear Lord, what have I done to deserve this?

Seriously I thought this whole stomach issue was done and over with. I thought I would never again have to worry about issues.

Apparently, the joke is on me.

A couple of weeks ago I started noticing the fact I looked...well. pregnant. And while the thought is wonderful, and grand. I knew for a fact I was not even close to being. Well. pregnant. It went away, only to return the next evening. And the evening after that. I contemplated calling the doctor, but it didn't hurt. It didn't bother me. It just looked funny. And how was I to explain that one? Umm excuse me I think something is wrong because my stomach looks funky?

Yeah I am pretty sure I would get laughed at. Besides I was a week away from going on vacation, and I really wanted to enjoy that vacation without worrying about things like another operation. So I held off.

Until this morning. Because I figured while I could hold off. I can only hold off so long before I need to do something. And it had been moving lately. And wouldn't you know, they want to see me. Today. As in a little over two hours from now. Great. As if I time from work to spare. Believe me I don't.

The nurse chewed me out on the other end for waiting. She didn't care that I have just recently come back from two major surgeries. Each requiring two months off. She didn't care that I had things to get done, and people to notify about my all of a sudden doctors appointment. Nope she just sat there on the other end telling me how foolish I was for not calling in a lot sooner.

I felt like a kid.

And yes maybe I should have called in. But well, what would you have done? I am already nervous that I will once again find myself in the ER tonight. For the 3rd time in 6 months. Do I really want to go through it again? Not exactly. But at the same time, I did call in. BEFORE there is an emergency. Shouldn't I get some kind of credit here.

She gave me an appointment, and thanked me. Informing me that she hopes I get things worked out and that I get better.

That makes two of us.

It really does.