Monday, March 31, 2008

i have had an online blog on another site for years. about eight to be exact. when i started it off. i was still a late teenager and the site was geared towards teenagers which was absolutely perfect. i didnt post all the time. much like this site. but it got to the point where i was and still am writing everyday. it wasn't like i wanted to write all the time. but it just became my way out. no one bothered me there, no one knew who i was. and it just i grew with the site as well as that journal.

but now im just about 28.
and i realize i have nothing to do with a site geared towards kids that are almost fifteen years younger than me.

so why cant i just leave?
why cant i pack my stuff up. say goodbye to the screen name i have had for a decade and just go?

why because i have almost 2,000 entries.
and i dont go on there for the teenagers opinions. they are still forming their own as it is. i go on there because its been my 'life' in words since i was 19.

thats a lot of memories that i have. a lot of time spent working on words, on thoughts. and its just. i cant exactly walk away.

can i?

Monday, March 24, 2008

i like to call myself a learner. and through the years i have been a master of a little bit of every subject. from business to education, to general ed and now psychology. is not that that i want to be in school forever, its just i truthfully dont know what i want to do.

well let me take that back. i do. i want to be a writer. i am trying to be a writer. however as my mother told me not everyone is going to be the next nora roberts or james patterson. so i guess i have been trying to find myself. and through the years well i havent exactly found the exact thing i want.

but sitting in my psychology class last week, i realized the sole reason i am probably interested in psychology. and its pure selfishness. because i have been through a lot. and a lot of negatives. ive taken care of people. been kicked down stairs. locked in suitcases.

so perhaps i am doing this, for me.

to help me.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

before moving my work to southeast dc, i worked five minutes away from my apartment. and it was great. considering gas prices kept soaring, it was extremely nice to be able to fill up every few weeks without having to worry to much about the rise.

but things have changed.
and even if i dont drive all the way into se. i still feel the pinches. as does my wallet.

i often take metro, because i hate absolutely hate stopping and going in the middle of the city. i hate the way i drive in the city and i hate the way people around me drive.but this doesn't help my wallet. i often think its more expensive. between parking and the fare. no wonder my increase in pay raise hasn't had the chance to be seen.

its going to my tank.

and with no end in sight.
the only thing i can do it suck it up and deal.

just like the rest of us.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

So I got this new job just as the new year started. I went from sitting behind a desk for eight hours a day doing pretty much nothing to working hours that vary and projects that come and go. Many involving the use of Excel spreadsheets. And while I consider myself knowledgeable with most microsoft and apple products and programs for that matter. I loath excel. Numbers after all have never been much my thing as it is.

I get this project. A project I will now be doing once a month from now til whenever. And I was told it would be pretty easy once I got started. But two months later, I find myself ready to shoot myself in the head rather than deal with it.

Who thought of these programs anyway? The kicker is , I am pretty sure they have me doing this to kill time for I often wonder who actually pays much attention to some of the research? I guarantee they will look at it for a token of perhaps five minutes, before saying oh ok, and move on to the next project.

Its the corporates way of wasting time and money.