Thursday, January 22, 2015

A light at the end of the tunnel...

Looking down at the syllabus (the final one of my college career) I only think one thing.

Well shit.
What have I gotten myself in to? No, my classmates are not under 20; we are all adults in fact. Most of us are working for a living. We have families and lives beyond the dorms and sororities. But at that moment, staring down at the assignments, the time frames and everything in between, including those dates that are most important it all seems so overwhelming.

This is the beginning of my final semester of college. I suppose we all feel this way when we get to the end. The feeling that there is so much to do (papers, projects and several visual aides to be made). And not enough time to do it in. We are all burned out. We just want to be done with things.  Yes it may be 16 weeks until graduation, but they couldn’t feel farther away if you were to ask us.

Or not far enough away in some cases.

I try to take those deep breathes the professor in class #2 of the evening is talking about. I try to focus on other things. Like the fact the next time I am in Disney World, I will be done completely. I am focusing on Logan’s birthday and how excited he is. I focus on the fact the snow is coming this weekend. Anything to keep my mind (as she says) from going completely bonkers.
None of these work. 

 I listen to others around me, finally able to breathe when I realize I am not alone in my thoughts. The handouts are all overwhelming.  We are all overwhelmed. I am not alone. I get up, introduce myself and wait for their feedback. Nervous for it.

And then it actually hit me.

This is the last first class meeting I will ever have. This syllabus is the last that will be handed out to me. And these people are all in the same boat. They are my last classmates.All of whom are feeling the exact same way, a couple seem to still be a little behind even.  They were freaking out because they felt behind, they didn't know what they were going to do. If they could finish themselves. And a few ask me for help, because as they said I kicked butt in the first half and they admired my work.

 If they only knew I was freaking out just as much as they were.

And suddenly, I think I just may be ok. Yes it is going to be a lot of work, and yes I will curse every filthy, dirty word out of my mouth more than once (to which I will already owe an apology to my family) but I am just about there.  But after that, I am done.


I just got to get there.

Friday, January 16, 2015

No rest for this gal.

We all have those weeks, the kind where you seem to be running in circles and fear it will never stop. The kind where you are so busy, by the time you actually get to take that break you just about plop.
Yes this has been my week.  And you know it has actually been rather nice.

Yes I have been running around, yes it feels as though the moment I finish one thing something else is needed to be done.  Everyone wants or needs something. I could complain about it I suppose. After all there are those days when it seems like all I do is sit and wait for something. But I am not. Because even if I am extremely busy, and I feel like I cannot catch my breath or wrap my brain around anything let alone one simple project, well the days? They go pretty quickly.

It beats the alternative.

What is more I actually feel as though I am making a difference and hey I have discovered you can teach someone new tricks. Believe me I have learned a lot of things (which I was supposed to apparently already know), things that will come in handy down the road on so many levels. 

All good things. All good things indeed. 

What is more, it makes this Friday that much more sought after. While I love Fridays to begin with, this Friday I actually feel like I deserve the two day break. I feel like I can walk out those doors thinking I accomplished things. I got things done. And it feels rather good to be able to do things and get things done.

And this gal will gladly take it.

Thursday, January 8, 2015

Resolutions?? How about goals.

I don’t make resolutions anymore. Probably because I found half the time, one can never keep them. But this does not mean I do not have goals for myself.  This year I have some pretty big ones to live up to.  And with any hopes I may actually finish them and succeed at it being a banner year. Which I am determined to make it. Yes, that is right I am already calling this year to not only be better than last year, but amazingly so.

2015 goals:

Read 45 books.-Which is actually 3 more than I read this past year, so fingers crossed.
Finish school and graduate-As of right now I am sitting at 129 days till graduation. It has been a long road and will be one of my biggest accomplishments to date.
 Write, and mean it. No I am not just talking about blogging, because yes I will continue this either way. But I have always wanted to be a writer, a novelist. And once school is done and out of the way I will have no excuse not to find time.

Pay at least two things off. Easier said than done, but I am guaranteed at least one of thing as I am down to two car payments now.  It is not a bill I am sad to see go that is for sure.  Here is to hoping I can figure out how to get at least one other bill to disappear.

Change something. Whether it is where my career is going, my location or simply a hair style. This year I want to change at least one thing for the better.

DisneyMP. No this is not a dream I am giving up on. Yes you better believe I still strive to make it, and am determined to come back in the fall better than I did this past year.  Some dreams do not die.

I am sure there will be others as the year goes on. Just as much as I am sure there will be road blocks along the way, things that I can not control and have no control over. But for the moment these are the things that I am determined to work on and make happen. 

Here is to 2015 my friends.

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

A Winter Classic Tale.

 Let me start off by saying, I was originally not going to attend the Winter Classic here in DC. I had been fully aware that come New Years Day I would be sitting my butt on the couch, my son next to me cheering our home team much like the rest of the Caps faithful. From the comforts of our home, vowing it would still be incredible to watch.  

But I fully admit I really wanted to be there in person.

Still I was okay with it. I was more interested in getting my husband to the game than I going to it. Because I may be a huge fan, he has been one for twice as long. How could I not make sure he went? I mean really.

But then came the text on New Year’s Eve, hours before the ball was going to be announcing the start of a new year. My sister-in-law was sick, did anyone want to take her place? And yes I may have done a little dance around the living room as Anderson looked at me and said, “Well? Do you want to go?” 

Did I want to go? Was the sky blue? Did he really need to ask?

I immediately felt guilty and extremely bad knowing that I was taking the place for someone who was sick. (Let’s face it no one wants to be sick) So much so I didn’t want to post it all over social media. I mean I was ecstatic to go, but this was her ticket to begin with.  But I gladly said yes while doing the hot dog dance around the living room for the remainder of the evening.

That is how I got to go. Talk about starting the New Year off wonderfully.

I will say this, yes it was cold, yes it was packed, and yes expensive.

And it was totally worth it.

It was worth standing in the cold to watch the fly over during the national anthem. You know, I managed not to complain about the fact I couldn’t exactly feel my feet by the end of the game. Way to go me!  It was worth the $9 dollar soda to be there as the military choir recited our national anthem in perfect harmony. The stadium was amazing and the crowd was unbelievable.Yes it may have just been another game in all reality, this was not the Stanley Cup finals by any means, but  you would never know that it was just another game by looking around. It was the Winter Classic. It meant something, if not for the soul purpose of bragging rights for the next year.And yes maybe I did have to stand and sit every time someone needed to get up, but really? Even that was worth it.

And talk about weather? Yes, even the weather was perfect for the game. It was like it was just meant to be.

 It was even worth having a thousand soft-ish seat cushions rain down on me when Troy Brouwer scored the game-winning goal at the last seconds of the game.

It was worth it and so much more. Truly I will say it was an experience of a lifetime. It was unforgettable. I think I would have been (maybe not as much I admit) happy had we lost, it was just that great of an experience.  Looking back, sure I would have been okay watching it on the couch, and I would have never quite known what I had missed.

But going? Actually being there? Well to quote my son:

“Was totally awesome!”