Thursday, February 14, 2013

Happy Valentine's Day.

Wanted to take the time to wish everyone a Happy Valentine's day. I know for many its a pointless silly holiday that Hallmark seems to have created to either make us feel one of two things about ourselves. Either exceptionally great, or exceptionally lousy. I have been on both ends of the spectrum, as most have I suspect.

In high school I hated it. I watched as one by one, girl after girl  received things. Flowers chocolate's. You name it. I envied these girls. Most of whom would complain about it. Back then I would have killed for a simple valentine form anyone. My parents did their best to stand in lieu of, a practice that still holds true to this day. And I was grateful for this. But in high school, getting something from a guy was EVERYTHING. 

And so I grew to hate the day. I protested. Wore black, blared the best anti love songs one could thing of and choose to ignore it all together. After all, it was just a day, another day if you asked me.
By college, still hating it I did better not to think about. Really it was such a stupid stupid day. I rolled my eyes at people who said some day things would change.

And then I met Anderson, and things slowly began to do just that.

It wasn't so stupid. And man those first few Valentine's Days they were something. Special. We celebrated and it was amazing. And I realized people were right, it wasn't all that stupid after all. In fact it was somewhat fun.

And then we got married. And life happens and while the day was still special, it soon became just another day. We don't mention much about it. We don't go out of the way. And at times I wonder if he even remembers the day at all. This used to bother me. Because I wanted to be special. I wanted to be the one to receive flowers at work and have all the other woman ooo and ahh. and tell me I had a great husband. I don't know why I felt the need for this, but I did. I would get a little upset, ok maybe just a little more than a little, that he didn't send me something or that it seemed like he forgot. Didn't he know I waited my whole life for Valentine's day?

And then my surgeries happened. And life got into a mess. Suddenly something as simple and stupid as worrying about getting flowers seemed just that. Stupid.

And I realized that its not just about one day, but perhaps every day that we should remind ourselves and the people in our lives that they are special. And they are loved. And they mean the world to us. It snot about fancy jewelry or lavish gifts. Because in the grand scale of things, anyone can get these things on a daily basis. 

And so today I walked in. I said Happy Valentines, and I smiled at the girls with flowers in their hands. They had a great man.

But just because mine didn't get me any flowers, doesn't mean he loves me any less.

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