And if your any normal female, the beginning of the season means by now you already have your suit. Or suits. Since lets face it, any normal girl I know can't go an entire summer with just one suit now can we?
Yet I sit here, the first full weekend of June in my favorite season of the year. And I still have yet to get a suit. Its been this way for the past two years in fact. I have been living off the same suits since the birth of my son. And no its not due to the fact I haven't lost the baby weight. Or the fact I am ashamed of what having a baby has done to my body. But rather because having to try and find a suit is just another reminder of how un-normal I really am.
Its in fact one of the few things I hate in regards to the season.
Because trying on suits, depresses me. You see gone are the days when bikinis clasp in the back, in its place every bikini ties. And if I am wrong, I would much appreciate someone telling me where I can find one. That doesn't make me look or feel like I am 90 that is. And while it may be the latest fashions, and look amazing on just about anyone. When you can only use one hand. Tying that in fashion bikini is a pain.
Believe me.
Of course I have my husband, who offers to help me whenever I can, which is great but then he gives me that look. And then I feel incredibly ridiculous to even ask. Because I shouldn't have to. I should be able to do this on my own. When I ask again, I get the same look. So I don't bother again. Not to mention, he can't exactly be in the dressing room to help me out in the try on process. Believe me we have tried and the sales associate has informed us that is against the policies. So I end up going in by myself, acting as if I am just like everyone else. I smile to the associate and thank them. Then I close the curtain and stare at myself in the tiny room. I slide on the bottoms-at least they fit-before attempting to try on the top. They never make the top small enough, and so I am standing there with it hanging down and try as I might I can't get it any smaller. I contemplate asking for help, since the associate did say if I needed help to let her know. But I am pretty sure that goes well beyond her offer, and would be extremely weird. Though for who I am not so sure.
So I end up holding it up to my skin. To imagine what it would look like. I hear the girls next to me oohhing and ahhing over the outfits, and am almost jealous that they can do what I can't. Then out of frustration, I yank it off, put back on my clothes and storm out of the dressing room.
I know I could buy the damn suit without trying it on. But it seems stores these days are becoming even more picky with returns. Especially in the bathing suit regards. So once more I put the suit back. Tell myself that I have one at home, and even if it is a bagillion years old...
It works. And isn't that enough??
If not I can always hope that next year, things will change.
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