Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Turning 32

I woke up this morning to the knowledge that somehow I was older than I was when I went to bed. I didn't want to think of the number not because I dreaded turning 32-because in all honesty, it is just a number right.-But rather because just saying 32 sounded so foreign to me, like even if it was just a number it somehow sounded so much older than 31. So instead I turned on the TV for the weather. Because I had this kick ass dress I was determined to wear....

'rain, rain, and more rain.  Expect downpours from time to time. Though on the bright side it will be warm.'

I should probably think, great we need the rain. Because well we do. But couldn't it have picked a better day. Like tomorrow. When its not my birthday?? 'Look for clearing skies tomorrow.'  Hmm. Well shit. Fuck you Mother Nature. No seriously I contemplated the whole dress thing. Then decided against it after I knew the heels I would wear with them would be horrible in the rain. Not to mention the whole walking through metro. Shit. Strike one against my whole birthday thing. I went on to find another appropriate, maybe not as good but at least a decent outfit that would say Its my birthday and I am determined to look good for it.  I got dressed..cursing mother nature again. Because if it wasn't that dress then I could have at least worn white right?

Until I realized that Aunt Flo decided to come and knock on my door the other night. Well damn there goes the whole kinky Shades of Grey sex I had hoped on getting.  OK so more like envisioned really.Well fuck her too. Because seriously, no one really wants to have this aunt come knocking to begin with, but especially not on their birthday. And I was really looking forward to tonight. I mean, really looking forward to it. Between a toddler, work...life. Things get crazy at times. I am not ashamed to admit this. And there are certain days when one expects they will get some. Birthdays being one of them. So yeah she could join Mother Nature for all I cared about.


But its ok, I mean its just a day right? I head to finish my routine,I begin to brush my teeth standing in front of the medicine cabinet. And what is that? I lean in closer to get a look and nearly groan at  a long grey strand, which I was pretty sure wasn't there last night. In fact I know it wasn't there last night. SERIOUSLY?? I mean what is this I turn 32 and suddenly everything begins to fall apart. I yank it out, knowing full well I wasn't supposed to that. Something about pulling out one only means three more will come in its place. At the moment I didn't care. I looked at myself again. 'I hate 32.' I mumble to myself. Obviously I am not alone. Mother hates me, Aunt dif has something out for me and now this?? SERIOUSLY??  I stand there in front of my mirror for so long. Noticing the little things, like little lines and blemishes that weren't there a year ago. I look so long that eventually my reflection is replaced by an older man pointing to his watch...laughing.

'Go to hell.' I exploded right back at it lying the toothbrush down. 'And take dear old mother and her sister with her.'

Its mornings like this, when I say who needs family right?? Especially when all they do is bitch, bleed you dry and remind you that you are in fact getting older.

Bitches. All of them.

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