You can call my Selfish.

Its just after two on a lazy Sunday afternoon. Its game day, which means Andy has taken off and won't be back til late tonight. There are a million things we need to do, cleaning the house and laundry being the most important things. And there are a million things I would rather be doing, getting ready for my sisters bridal shower next weekend. Shopping and spending time with little man as a family.

And while I love the sport and I know its my husbands dream job. There are moments, much like the one I am having where I want to be selfish, and I want to tell him not to go in and I want to have my family, be a family. To be able to not worry if there is a game or games. I want to be able to sit around on a lazy Sunday and not have to worry that if we need to get anything done that it has to be done and we have to be home by twelve in the afternoon in order for him to have enough time to get ready.

Yes I realize this makes me sound like an incredible selfish person because I often at times don't want to share my husband with the sport he loves so much. Its a battle I struggle with for the better part of the season. I admit at times I feel if given the choice he would pick the sport over the family in a heartbeat. And I know these feelings often arise more towards the end of the season. When the routine of it all really begins to take its toll. When it was just Andy and I, long before we had little man it was in fact quite a lot easier. I would find time to spend with friends, go to the games myself or have the ability to clean without feeling as though what I just picked up would automatically be pulled back out in two seconds. And I didn't so much mind the fact that he was forever away.

But sometimes things change. We had always spoken of the possibility of leaving the Caps, in fact with every end of the season he starts his whole maybe I should leave, Logan is getting older, I want to be around more, speech. Its a speech I have heard several times as part of his hockey PMS he gets....and every year he finds an excuse not to leave. The thought of a Stanley Cup ring being one of them.  Its repeated so many times, I have learned to take it with a grain of salt, shrug it off and know that for us, this is the life....One that my son and I should get used to.

Don't get me wrong I love having my son to myself. The time I spend with him is precious and I realize one of these days he will want nothing to do with me. I get this. But there are moments when I look at him and I see things that my husband has missed. I hear things while he is gone that at times shouldn't be repeated. And as much as I love my son and the time we spend, I know how important it is that he have his daddy in his life.

Which is exactly why I want to be selfish, and have the husband with us. Please forgive.