Saturday, January 28, 2012

A year later.

A year ago this evening I found myself in the ER, suffering from the worst pains I have ever had. Including labor. I laid there hooked up to numerous amounts of IVs unaware of just how much my life would change in the next year.

Two days later I was going through an emergency surgery to take care of a knotted colon. And a removal of my appendix.

Its funny what a date means. Before last year Jan 28th was known for two things. The anniversary of the Challenger disaster which occured in 85'. And for Nick Carters birthday. And before this year I began the morning in silence, in rememberence. The day forever changed my decision to become an astronaunt. And in the afternoon, I would always sing happy birthday to Nick, who didn't even know I would do this, but I did it anyways. I did this last year as well.

And now?  Now while these two events still flood my mind, this day I fear will be shared with this shadow of the surgeries. And the pain. And the week and a half spent in the hospital. I look back at this past year and I think how much things have changed. I have lost weight, lost most of my colon, my appendix and have been on disability more than I care to be.

And yet, I think about all that could have happened had I not gone to the hospital that evening. I don't even want to think about it. And suddenly the lose of that colon doesn't seem so bad.  Perhaps one of these years, these memories will fade. The pain, the thoughts of the hospital and the incredible sensation that the tube is still running through my nose just a distant past.

But not this year.

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