I was supposed to go Christmas shopping for Logan, followed by a date with my husband. It was to be the first date we had had since the beginning of the hockey season.
It was supposed to just your average normal weekend.
But on Friday night, just as I was sitting down to watch the hockey game I had pains in my stomach. And not just any kind of pains. But those kinds of pains. The same sort of pains that were very reminiscence of January, and later March. My first thought was shit. Here we go again. I mean I was so close. I have my third surgery set for Dec. 28th. To take care of the hernia that they said would fix everything. I would be done. Done. I could go on with my life, think about another kid...I could go to Germany and England and things could get back to normal.
Two weeks and I would be normal.
Another pain shot through me. And I knew I couldn't wait. I called the doctor, figuring I would end up at the hospital. I didn't want to. Still I sat listening to the advice nurse as my son kissed my belly, and told me everything would be fine. And held my hand as I cried. And as I talked to the nurse I cried as he told me the doctor would make everything better, and later told me 'don't cry mommy, don't cry.' Which of course only made me cry harder. This kid is only 2, he isn't supposed to be so understanding, so caring. So loving.
As we figured I found myself at the doctors, and later the ER on Friday night. From the looks of it, that date and the shopping would have to be cancelled. I was in that ER for twelve hours before someone finally decided I needed something done. At first they were talking about going back in and taking even more of the colon out, because apparently unlike most people who are born with 5-6 feet of colon, I was born with about 9. Awesome. But with a surgery already scheduled for two weeks, they wanted to do a colonoscopy to see if would at least hold out. If it didn't work emergency surgery would have to performed.
And so what else could I do, I smiled as I went into surgery, singing 'I want it that way' which has always been my go too song in stressful situations..I hoped this would work, I needed it to work. I had things to do, holidays to enjoy and work that needed to be done. I had a semester to finish out.
It did...for now.
Two weeks and I will have to go back, the minor hernia surgery will now be major surgery.
And everything will start all over again
Though they say this time, it will be for good.
Why am I not getting my hopes up?
2 comments:
Oh goodness Aleisha...that royally sucks. I'm so sorry. You've got a good little man there though. My mom says that I would do those things while she was sick from chemo when I was two years old. I'll definitely keep praying and my fingers crossed that in two weeks, it will be all finished!
Thanks I plan on blogging through everything so stay tuned! It has dif. not been easy though. And I do have a great little man, I was so incredibly touched...
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