Moms Panel Quest 2014...it begins.

Each year by this time during the 2nd week of September I have rushed to my computer, patiently-or not so-watched as the clock clicked closer to 9 and did whatever I could to calm my Disney loving nerves. Each year at this time I pray, please let this be my year.

And then the moment it did, I clicked away, typed and slaved over my answers, thinking I was that much closer to finishing. I hit the submit button after I was more than positive I had given the best answers I could. I then would sit and re-evaluate every little thing. Did I answer it right, could I have done it better. I realize it was silly, but I couldn't help myself. It was the beginning of what could be the best thing ever. Disney planning and writing. Two things I happen to really enjoy. And unlike some things, I knew I was good at.

Every year it turns out to be the same, a thanks but no thanks email. I have to say as much as you tell yourself yo will be ok, well there is a piece of you that breaks. Even if they tell you next year is a new year, you can try again. Sometimes it still, stings.

And each year, the week of Labor Day I look at my calender and I know that the week after is the week. I contemplate not applying....because could I deal with the whole heartbreak thing again.

Which leads me to this morning, I tried to tell myself not to think about it. Maybe if I approached it differently this year, it would be different. After all the first year I applied I did it for fun, and on a whim and so maybe if I don't think. I watched and waited as the clock struck 9. And then I hit start....

and I went brain dead...WHAT????

Wait this can't be!!! I sat staring at the screen, thinking and re-writing my answer to question number one. None of what I had said seemed to be good enough, how was I going to answer this in less than 100 words???? I erased and restarted and erased a dozen times. There is no way I am just  going to wing it. I decided maybe the moment isn't right. Maybe what I need to do is think about it, not rush. I wanted this, but that didn't man I needed to finish right then and there. I have until Friday.

So even if by this point in past years I have finished, and submitted this year, it still sits as I ponder the best way to describe things, to answer....

in 100 words or less....