With the announcement of the return of hockey this past Sunday came a lot of other things as well. My husband who has enjoyed his several months of non busy work, found himself scrambling to get things done in a rather we need it like yesterday sort of fashion. He also found himself in a new role, one of the managerial style which was just announced Friday.
This is all great and fun, I am thrilled to have the sport back, just in case you hadn't read my previous posts, I will say it again. I would gladly trade this for a season. But as he came in the office on Monday to do work, and discuss the future it was also determined between the two of us quietly that going on our planned vacation probably wasn't the smartest of ideas. No it was not mandatory that he canceled it rather suggested that his new team may not favor the idea. After all he would barely be in the position for two months, and the season would be just about into the final stretch of games before the push for the playoffs.
Now we had already discussed this, which is why we had not put any money into the trip besides the place holder for the room but still the sting of realizing that we would be cancelling still stung. Especially when you consider we were exactly 60 days away. Had it been five months, it was one thing but when you are so close...well for some reason it just hurt. Anderson and I sat in silence neither of seeming to want to say we were pulling the plug, at least not out loud. And for a moment I hated the fact that my life revolved around the sport. That we have to do such a thing, and then I felt incredibly guilty for even thinking this. Because I know how much he loves his job, and I know its completely selfish of me to think things like this.
I am trying to hide my disappointment this afternoon, to get along with my day and push the whole thing out of my head. But I am finding that to be a very tall order as every other site is mentioning spring getaways, and spring break fun. And I can't help but think that it was during my spring break from school that we would be going. And then there I go again with the whole disappointment. Perhaps its best that I just stay away from everything vacation wise until the pain of disappointment subsides just a bit. And it will right?
Vacations will be there, we can rearrange and plan for another spring trip. And its not like we won't be going back, as August is already scheduled. But still, to say we were looking forward to it is an understatement as we were more than just looking forward to it. Logan has been counting down, and while he has no concept of time yet, he knew it was getting closer.
We have yet to break it to him.
At this point I don't know if we will officially. At least not for a bit.
And these are things, like canceling things and putting things on hold. Missing weddings and birthdays These are things that people don't see about life as a hockey widow.
And vacations are apart of the whole thing.