Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Keep calm, and write on.

Prior to the holiday vacation I told myself I would do three things, spend time with my son, not think about work. And write. I was on a roll with two out of the three, and I had been on a roll with my writing as of late, and I had every intention of continuing it. Especially since I would be away from work, and would have the freedom and the luxury to write whenever I wanted.

It was a promise I had made to myself. After all, if that book that I hope to someday get published were to actually pan out, well it would need to get finished first right? I sent whatever notes, and thoughts I had to myself before leaving out on that Friday. Notes I had written down in notebooks at work, or blurbs on my phone. I vowed I would sit down and actually formulate these, write until my fingers bled. I would! Yes I was determined. And if nothing more. I would have ten days of not thinking about work. So surely I would get something accomplished.

Well here it is, ten days later. I am now back at work. And how much did I actually write? In the beginning, I told myself I had plenty of time. Plenty of days. And it was the holidays. I wanted to spend it with my son, and enjoy the time. They are after all fleeting. So I pushed the thoughts and my work out of my mind. Until later. And then it was the middle of the holidays. You know that in between time, between Christmas and New Years. And I thought well I still have time. Maybe I would write when little man went down. But I didn't account for his whole sleep pattern being thrown off-for that matter, my own as well.- and so he was up at all odd hours of the night. If not in bed, he wanted to snuggle and he wanted his mommy. And time, and days like this, well they won't last forever. So I put it off once again. It could wait. What was another hour? Another day.

Except then it was the Sunday before, and New Years was right around the corner. And a house had to be cleaned, and my time with my son and my husband off of work, well it wasn't going to last much longer. shouldn't we be enjoying it while we can? Once again I put it off, and held on. I reminded myself I was on vacation. Even if it was a staycation, I still was on it. Surely my mind deserved a break from things as well.

New Year's rolled in, and I went and saw Les Miz, and I was so in love with it, and my emotions already a wreck, just couldn't handle sitting down and writing. Not to mention, the lack of sleep and thrown off pattern had meant while my son slept, I didn't. I barely was able to keep my eyes open for the ball drop as it was.  Writing would have to wait. Maybe tomorrow. I still had one day more.

But when I woke, and picked my son up from my father, who had so graciously offered to watch him so Anderson and I could enjoy New Years Eve. Well this was our last day of the vacation. Should I truly be spending it behind my computer? I would be back to doing that soon enough.

Another words, I did absolutely zero writing. At least not in the form I wanted to. Sure I kept up with my blog. But on my forever in progress book. Well, that was once again put on hold. I remind myself the beauty in writing, is I am forever in thought, moments of inspiration and all come to me when I least expect it. And I have jotted down things and written, so I doubt that it will be going anywhere.

Still, this does not help me finish what I sought out to do a couple of years ago.
But here's hoping 2013 will be different.

I will write. I will finish.
It may be the death of me.
But in 2013. I will write.

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