Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Baby, I'm the lucky one.

little man on his 3rd birthday
Sometimes I forget just how truly lucky I am.

Yes I may bitch about certain situations I find myself in. My slight disability, my frustrations of being a full time worker and part time student, the co-worker that is giving me a hard time about one thing or another. My umpteenth surgeries in the past year and a half. And yes even how my team is doing. But most of all I am lucky for my son. More specifically, his health.

You see I came across a fellow bloggers website the other day who shared a link to A New Kind of Perfect, which is a friend of hers blog. And for some reason I found myself clicking on that very link. It didn't take me long to find myself in near tears. The blog was from the viewpoint of a mother losing her daughter. Dying of some rare sickness which I never truly found out what it exactly was. But as I read my heart began to break for this woman as she wrote about making plans, and preparing and figuring out how she was going to tell her older son that Emily had passed, when she finally does. I read on, paragraph after paragraph until I got to the end, barely able to finish it before having to excuse myself to the bathroom to dry my eyes.

Several moments later I returned sat down and stared at a picture of little man and me during his birthday.I couldn't imagine the pain she was going through. I didn't even want to pretend that I knew one ounce of it. Flashes of days in the past three years began to replay in mind. Pictures at Disney, and the beach. With cousins and his father. How much did I take these for granted? Did Emily have pictures like this? Was she like my little Logan at one point, happy and young and carefree. More so was her mother like me at one point? Full of hope and aspirations and dreams for her daughters future.

I took these all for granted. I take all these for granted.

You never really think of these other parents out there. I never thought of these other parents. The ones that aren't as lucky as I am at the moment. Whose children fight to stay alive on a daily basis. And for some reason Emily's story, well it just touched me. I clicked on one blog after another-all thanks to links-and found several other stories just like hers. And with each passing story, the more my heart broke, the more my heart said you are one lucky mommy.

My son is not in pain, he doesn't live off medications and has endless amounts of doctors appointments on a weekly basis. I don't have to worry whether a simple bruise puts him at risk for a break, or could be an underlining issue. I don't feel the need to have another kid for the sole purpose that they may be a match.  Should I decide to have another, its because I want to. And I don't have to worry about making arrangements for the inevitable, knowing its coming a lot sooner than I ever dreamed of.

You are a lucky mom...

Because yes, you do have a slight disability, and your coworkers can be annoying-whose aren't from time to time?-and your still working your way through school. The surgeries saved your life.  And your team, 'barely' made it into the playoffs.

But you know what? Your son? Is pretty incredible. And he is healthy.

Remember that.

Last I checked, which was just this morning there had been no updates on Emily's progress since Monday where they posted precious pictures of Easter. (I don't think I even took a picture during Easter) The no news scares me, since Sara, the mother had posted pretty regularly. But I am hopeful that no news is good news. At least for the moment. Or perhaps she is spending as much time curled up in her daughters arms, knowing that at any given moment, it could be her last to do so.

Go home. Hug your kids. You never know what the future holds.

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