Thursday, January 12, 2012

Slow and steady.


The other night, I was feeling great. Seriously I was. In fact at one point I was even thinking how I felt so great that I could probably head back to work. In fact I wondered why they put me on a no work for several weeks. And then they allowed me to have fiber. And ever since then? Well ever since then I have found myself saying. 

Shit. This sucks.

It seems that everything I eat now, hurts. I get sick off of it and I am in severe pain until my system gets rid of it. Who knew eating could be so shitty. Who know eating could be this crappy. I literaly don't even enjoy it at the moment. I have been asked to go to lunch with friends, and yet turn them down because every time I eat, I end up in a ball it hurts so much. I do not know if this is normal but I have to tell myself it is at the moment. I try to remind myself that I lived with no fiber in my diet for nearly a month, and in the past two days have I found myself just beginning to get it back into my system, so naturally its going to take some time.

Still just like that comercial for the profuct, Fiber makes me sad anymore.

Recovery it seems isn't going to be as easy. I now see why they told me I can't go back for awhile. At the moment, I think I would be ok to never return since I hurt so much. I keep telling myself its going to get better, that soon I won't hurt so much. I won't be in so much pain and I will be able to eat the foods that I love so much.

But this day seems so far away that I am beginning to feel as if I am lying to myself.

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