Wait just a minute

I write this with somewhat of a heavy heart.

You see I thought everything was back to normal. I went on an amazing vacation with just my husband, I returned to work. And I was just about to get cleared to drive, pick up my son and do everything once again without any restrictions.

Yes that is right, I was going to return to full normalcy.

But as we all know, life has a funny way of happening to us. And the day before I was to be released, I found myself sitting in a doctors office with pains, that seemed all to familiar. Granted it was not all of a sudden. In fact it had been going on for twenty four hours. Still I went on to work, hoping it would just disappear, and I would be alright. But halfway through the day, there was no end to the pain, and while I really hated to, I called the doctors office just to make sure. Later, when I entered that doctors office, puking on the way in I knew something was up. And I had a sinking feeling that not only would I not be getting approved and the restrictions lifted, but I would be returning to the hospital. Sure enough six hours after entering the doctors office my fears where confirmed and at 8:30pm on that Monday night (3/22) I found myself being checked into the Virginia Hospital Center down in Arlington VA, and by midnight I was being put through exam after exam. Again this was looking way to familiar.

By Tuesday morning, hooked up to an IV, when the surgeon came walking in, and I saw the look on his face, I knew this. I was going back into surgery. Seemed there was a kink in my lower intestines this time. A result of the first operation, and they needed to get in there to take it out. Which they did by five that evening.

I spent a lovely (ok, yeah this is my attempt to lighten things up) 8 days in the hospital, finally being discharged yesterday morning. I still smell and taste the hospital as we speak, and I fear no matter how many showers-since baths are a no, no-I take it will not do away with the place I called home for over a week.

Once again I am back to being sore, to being not able to drive and being on a month long unexpected vacation from work. And no, I can't pick up my son until after April. Not an easy task to ask of a mother who hasn't been able to do so since January.

The good news, should there be any in this case, is the fact that they were able to go in where the last surgery was, minimizing the need for that much more scaring. And while I had no intentions of being off of work, and it was not expected for the next month, I will get to spend time with my son. And while I may not exactly be able to hold him. Right now, I will gladly take that time.

Because right about now, well right about now I could use some sunshine, and little man to cheer me up.

The drive.

I didn't get my license until I was 21.

Yes, I was a late bloomer when it came to that. But at the time, I didn't really need to drive. And I had pretty incredible parents-well either that or overprotective-who pretty much drove me wherever I wanted to go, when I needed to go.

But of course once I got my license, that all changed and I wondered how I ever survived the lack of freedom I had just so recently obtained.

Now, just about ten years later, I have found myself being chauffeured once more as I am still recovering. And now I find myself wondering how I ever managed to do it all those years ago. Now I find without the ability to drive its that much harder to work around my schedule. My work, my son, its all that much harder. How did I manage? How did I not find myself going stir crazy. OK maybe I did, and I just don't remember it.

I find I am counting down til that March 22nd date of when I get cleared to do everything once more. I long to just drive, roll down the windows. Go to the mall. Do something. Even if it is just to walk around. Because being in a house, whether it is my own or at my parents. Doing nothing, while nice can get rather boring at the same time.

I wondered how I managed not to worry about groceries. And about going to the bank, which I haven't done in ages and feel like I have had to bug just about any one to take me. And to see people...friends. Hang out with them.

I know I went years without so much of getting behind the wheel.
But now I don't how I can live without it....

Return to Normalcy.

After a month of sitting around the house, watching my mothers beloved soaps and sleeping in til whenever I wanted. I have returned to work.

Now I admit, the thought of going back to work brought a few mixed emotions.

On one hand, I was thrilled at the idea of getting out of the house of doing something other than sleeping. And of course there is the whole issue of being paid. Which, yeah would be really good right about now. No offense to my mom and dad, who have been taking rather good care of me while my husband has been off traveling with the team. But after a certain age, many of us can only stay with any one of our family members for so long before we want to get away. I am no exception to the rule.

So yes, I was more than a little ready to start getting back into the swing of things. Start getting back into the pattern of things here and there that needed to be done.

And yet at the same time?

I am still not driving, and won't be cleared to do so until the end of March. And I am still not able to pick anything up over ten pounds. Not the greatest news when one has a now two year old on her hands, and her husband has decided to travel with the team. And while I want to get back to work, there is a part of me that really enjoyed being with my son, even if I couldn't exactly hold him or do much of anything. The time together was great. It reminded me a lot of being on maternity leave, those precious weeks that flew by in the matter of an eye. It was just as hard to leave my son this go around as it was the last.

Still I managed to make it in, back to work. And I was excited to start back. Until...

The entire family decided to catch a virus and has given it to me. My first week back and I am struggling to make it through. And since I can't exactly call in-lack of sick leave-the only thing I can do is push through it. The best I can.

And hope that next week is a hell of a lot better.