Five Year Wedding bliss.

Five years ago at this moment I was sitting in my parents house, soaking in a bathtub bubbles up to my neck. Nervous. In a few hours friends, and family would be arriving. I would be heading down to Old Hickory and in a few hours I would be getting married.

Five years ago today.

How those five years have flown by. Somehow in the blink of an eye, we are no longer that newlywed couple we were back then. We are no longer, Andy and Aleisha, but husband and wife, mom and dad. And yet, there are times. Often even when those five years seems rather like ions ago rather than years ago.

I look at my husband now, not as the man I married that hot Memorial day weekend, but as the man he has become. The father he has become. And I am in no less infatuated with him now as I was back then.

Those blue eyes are still the same amazing blue they were that day. I still love when they are smiling at me. And the ring on his finger, hasn't been off his finger since that day. He refuses to take it off. Even after I have done so with mine on certain occasions. I often feel as though this makes him more devoted to me than I to him.

We are older of course. The daily life routine is just beginning to play out on his face. As I am sure it has on mine. I know he worries about it, even if he doesn't say it. I watch as he counts the gray hairs in his chin, a new one pops up once or twice a week. But it has only made him more defined than older.

Even if he doesn't think so.

I know from time to time I may dream of young buff guys in their early twenties, bare chested and ripped and from time to time I catch myself even drooling over such a man. And I know my husband looks at his own oddly shaped body, with a baby shelf and sausage toes and he thinks that the twenty something is what I would prefer. But what he doesn't see is the way he looks in a suit, when he comes down the stairs, a pair of dark sunglasses on. Or the way he looks when he is holding our son in his arms, their silly laughter filling the house with joyful glee. How I would take that over the young buff any day still.

Five years ago today.

I didn't know the challenges we would face yet, the hardships that would come on, and that will still come on. I only saw the man who is now my husband at the end of the walkway, waiting for me. I didn't yet know of the happiness that would fill our lives. Of the child we would have now. No I did not know any of this. I just knew that these would all be with him someday.

And yet its been five years.
Just like that.

Those someday's have become yesterdays, and todays. And tomorrows. And how they are flying right on by.

I was asked the other day, if I had thought I had made the right choice. How there are often couples, husbands and wives who find themselves doubting their decisions. Thinking that perhaps someone else is out there better than whomever they are with. And I thought about this, not for the reason that I was doubting anything but rather for a moment to recall. Recall the good the bad and the ugly of these past few years.

No it hasn't been perfect. Not everything is what they say its going to be. Its not roses, and flowers and romance all the time. Its hardships and struggles. Its fights and disagreements. Its lies, and hurt. And yet, there is joy and happiness and moments of pure bliss. And maybe it doesnt have to be perfect. Perhaps that is not what marriage is about really.

In the end of the day its about love. The way that someone makes you feel. Its about safety and comfort and the fact that, that one person knows you better than anyone else does. Its the way, no matter what is going on in life they are there for you. To stand by you, to support you. To pick you up. Its about love, the kind that changes over the years. From infatuation to puppy love, to new love to comfort love and beyond. Its about love, in whatever form it may come in. It has always been about love.

And as I stood there thinking of all of this, I thought about this love. This life. I tried to envision myself with someone else. Calling someone else my husband. Even if there were other guys I found attractive, I had flirted and hoped for all those years ago, when it came to answer it, in that moment. I couldn't think of one other person I could see as my husband.

For he is it.

He is love.
And in the end, that is all that matters.

Even after five years...