From the puck to the world.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

As a child this was probably the easiest question ever. We would get asked, and swiftly answer, doctor, teacher, singer, policeman, a princess, famous. If your like my husband your dreams went beyond anything living instead geared to mechanical things. Like the red fire engine. You could dream big like that and not get laughed at. People around you would support you, love you and tell you you could be whatever you wanted to be. That the world was yours for the taking. You worked your ass off for years, knowing that, that one goal would someday be reached.

And you had time to dream.

But I often wonder what of those that didn't exactly know what we wanted to be? Those of us that were told years ago that it's alright we had time to figure things out. We would find out who were and then we would know. It would just fall into place. Things had a funny way or working out that sort of way.

But what if it doesn't?

I bring this up because it was time for my annual review at work. I sat there in the office as my boss ran through the accomplishments, the improvements and the plan for the upcoming year. he turns to me and says:

What do you plan on doing?

I looked back at him. I had no answer. I have spent my entire twenties trying to figure out exactly what I wanted to do, all the while working in the administrative areas. Its not that I hadn't tried its just, well I just don't know. I haven't had the ambition to do one specific thing. I haven't longed to be something since I was a kid. I've focused on trying to get myself a degree so much that I have neglected discovering what I want to do.

Who I am.

Which leads me back to the question: What do I want to be when I grow up.

The question still has no answer.

For now.