Monday, June 17, 2013

You've got a friend in me.

When it comes to friends, I admit I could probably count the number I have on one hand. Sure we have the couples friends. Those people we get together with from time to time. His and Her friends sort of thing that are now ours...But actually solo friends? Just her friends?

Maybe less.

Its not that they aren't important to me, or that I don't try to make friends...

Its just well... not as easy...

It used to not be like this. No, I used to have a lot more.  It was easier then to get together. Before kids, and husbands and jobs and life got in the way I suppose. Back when having a lot of friends was the most important thing ever and you could just call up so and so, see if they wanted to see the latest movie, or go shopping for things you really didn't need. And of course they would always say yes because, well they didn't have a life back then easier.There was no curfew or bedtime you needed to worry about. No babysitter to pay and the mall really was the coolest place to be.

 Maybe I didn't have the quantity of friends my sisters had, but I didn't do shabby either. And yes it was a whole lot easier to maintain the small number of friends I did have. 

Ah those were the days.

I never thought I would miss them. The days when getting together were simple. Or friends. Just having friends. But this weekend, I had dinner with a friend I had lost contact with, and am just now getting back really in touch with, I realized how much I had. And how much I not needed them.

It was not that we did anything special, because we didn't. But we sat there and talked. There was the usual job talk, kid updates and walk down memory lane. What get together wouldn't? But then there was something else that I hadn't done with anyone. Guy gab. Husband bashing-yes, honey there was.-and just all around gossip.

I talked a lot. Unusual for me since I am a whole lot better in written communication than verbal. But I let things out, and let things go some of which I hadn't admitted to anyone. For a brief moment I felt guilty about this, after all she didn't come here to listen to my issues. And who was I to be talking to her about it anyway. But afterwards I sat there across the way feeling as though this huge stress was lifted. As though I had been holding something back and inside for so long and letting it out was the key to releasing it.

I realize you can't do this with every friend. But it felt good at the time to do so.

With this one.

True maybe we still didn't see the latest blockbuster. And I ended up heading to the mall on my own for things I actually needed. But I left feeling as though the dinner meant so much more than it did back when things like going to mall was the coolest thing ever. And maybe I still don't have an enormous amount of friends, though my Facebook would probably say otherwise.And maybe I don't get together as often as I should, though we did vow to do it a lot more often.

But maybe that isn't what is important after all.

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