The way it was

My mom fell and sprained her rotater cuff last week. Putting her out of commission from work for a couple of weeks. She also happens to be our daycare provider. Of course with her injury, and time off, Andy and I had to figure out what to do.

On a normal day, she would come by and pick him up early in the morning, and drop him off on her way home. But seeing as though she wasn't going to be driving for awhile that option, really wasn't there.

Another option was presented, for the week my parents and younger sister would keep him at the house eliminating the need for putting extra miles and extra time onto our commute. Not to mention between Andys hockey schedule, and my school schedule, we didn't exactly have a whole lot of extra time to begin with.

We were a bit hesitant at first. A week without our lil one, while may be nice would be hard. But after some thought, we knew that it probably wasn't only the best option it was the only option. Especially considering neither of us really wanted nor had the ability to just drop everything for the week to take care of him.

As much as we may want to.

So I dropped him off on Monday giving him a precious little kiss goodbye.

And it is now Friday. For the past four nights we have been baby free. We have been able to eat when we wanted, go shopping when we wanted to again. Seen people we haven't seen in awhile. Done things we haven't in awhile.

All the while, my sister and mom have been taking care of my one year old son.

Should I be ashamed to say, to admit that I have in some enjoyed it. That I miss these days? Days when I didn't have to worry about a kid. Or that my life would no longer be my own. The days when I could sleep in past nine and not feel guilty for doing so? Or waking next to my husband and just laying there.

Now it is always one of us that gets up to attend to the little guys needs. Most of the time, one of goes to bed alone, and one wakes up alone.

Don't get me wrong. I love my son. I miss my son. I miss him terribly. But as I looked over at my husband, I realized that this week has virtually been drama free that I don't feel like we are judging what each other does. I miss the freedom of certain things. Going pee when I need to and not having to worry that lil man is tearing through my underwear drawer. I miss my husband. Who made me feel desirable and pretty back then. Now there are times when I even turn him on any more. Or if my post baby body, and new name 'mom' have somehow made me gone from totally desirable to totally untouchable.

Sometimes I can't remember when he paid me a compliment last. Come to think of it, I can't remember when I paid him one either.I am not so dumb to know that this goes both ways.

I miss movies, and dates and dinners with just the two of us. And cuddling. Yes I miss it all.

I am not by any means saying I wouldn't trade what I have because little man has become my life these days. And as much as I may think, in all honesty I can't imagine life without him.

Still from time to time.

I miss the way it was.