Disappointment.

Disappointment. It comes in many forms, and usually when we least want it to. I am not immune to it and I have faced several of my own disappointments these days.

But the biggest one as of late came  Friday when my midterm exam grade was posted. Now before the grade was actually posted I felt pretty good about it. I studied, in fact I had even created a 7 page study guide and carried it around with me. I sat up at the campus for four hours before the exam with nothing but my books and notes on hand. And I studied. I came in to the exam saying I was going to rock it, because in all truth I felt like I knew it. I was going to do fabulous.

Apparently, not so much.

My heart sank at the grade. No I did not fail it, thank the Lord for that one. But lets just say I did  not rock it like I thought. In fact I may as well have flunked it by the outcome. In reality, I know the midterm which was only 25 questions and worth 75pts is not that big of deal. Not when your talking out of 500 points. But in a lot of ways I felt like I had failed.

Myself.

And that was the biggest disappointment of all.

Better luck next time right?

An old friend.

Greys Anatomy. Oh how things have changed, and yet not so much at the same time. Five years ago I pretty much lived eat and slept around your schedule. Yes you were my show. I swore no matter what I would forever be a loyal fan.

But then something happened. I landed in the hospital myself. And as I laid there hooked up to a thousand monitors after operation number three, I tried to watch you. I did I did. But I just couldn't. Because suddenly those make believe stories, didn't seem so make believe any more. They were my story. And I couldn't watch. Not that I didn't want to. I just couldn't. Especially when the episode dealt with colon anything.

So I broke it off.

But the other night, while sitting by myself I flipped through my DVR looking for something to watch and wouldn't you know, you were there. It was like coming home to an old friend. I flipped you on, and just as old friends do. I picked up on it.

And I discovered something.

Nothing changed. And I loved it. And suddenly I am sitting here re-watching shows that people have already seen. I loved it. Well except everyone was having sex. Which sort of made me groan. Or want to cry. Because clearly that is so not like my life at the moment....

But you know. I will take that....

Welcome home.

Slacking.

I have been severely slacking when it comes to blogging lately.  I have my reasons, though some are too personal to discuss openly at the moment to the mass that is social media.

I have tried to sit down and write a couple of times, but reasons for one or another always seem to distract me and keep me from finishing my thoughts. And lets not forget my whole trying to write while I was watching hockey, and we all know how that went.

Sure if you run a blog, you know there are always months and moments when you don't feel like writing. And the whole month seems to fly by without you even thinking about blogging. It is natural. It happens. But there is at least on some part of me that feels guilty that I have ignored posts and thoughts. There is a part of me that doesn't even feel complete if I haven't even written something for it.

But here it is halfway through the month...and my blog is severely lacking...

Of course tomorrow is a new day. And well, you never know.

Do you except the rose.

Ah the Bachelor.....a show that promises lots of tears, lots of fancy dates and lots of drama.

This season has been no exception.

It has been said before, I am not much of a reality TV fan, but the Bachelor for some reason always sucks me in. I adored Sean last year, so it was no surprise when I was eh about Juan Pablo this year. He is mildly attractive, and his accent while can be a turn on, well got old and it got stuffy. Not to mention, the fact that every other minute he was telling us he is no good at English....

And there was something about him, that just screamed....asshole.

But of course no one really agreed with me. They saw the outside exterior and fell in love. And last night, many hearts watched as the true nature of Juan Pablo came out. Leaving Clare, and 'picking' if that is what you call it, Nikki. By picking I mean just giving her a final rose.

I did not watch the show until this evening, and let me say I did not see what was so impressive about the guy. My opinion did not change at all. In fact it only confirmed what I already knew. Out of all the bachelors, Juan Pablo has sealed his fate in history as not only the shittest bachelor, but perhaps the worst one.

Honestly did we expect anything less of a guy who has been absolutely controversal from the moment the first showed aired?

No.

Springing forward.

I love spring, I love the fact I know the days are longer, the air warmer and the flowers are blooming. Even if they do mess with my allergies there is this whole feeling that the worst is behind us. A sign that we have in fact made it through the long freezing cold days and it would be smooth sailing from here on out. However what I don't like.

Springing ahead. Now I suppose it is a small sacrifice for the longer days and for that I will take it. But here is my question, does it really have to spring ahead on a Sunday? Because wouldn't it be a little easier to do so, oh say on a Friday night? I mean at least this way it would be two full days of adjustment before going to work. I am pretty sure I am not the only one sitting here behind the computer thinking, I should go to bed, I should be tired and yet wide awake because while the clock says its almost ten thirty,  your body along with half the clocks you haven't gotten to yet says it is only 9, and there is no way you would go to be at 9. You are not that old yet.

Not to mention, it messes with the whole digestive system.  My stomach not yet used to the new time doesn't know when to be hungry yet. Forcing yourself to eat when you can't is not exactly easy.

Then again, coming home this evening after running around and the fact that it was still light out at 7? Well that my friend, was truly absolutely amazing....and I will gladly take a loss of an hours sleep for an extra hour of sun any moment.

Now as long as it can stay warm.

Whenever, wherever.....I can write...well except..

I happen to like to write. Well, I suppose you already knew this. Along with my blog, I do creative writing, and I occasionally journal and I am always seem to be working on something.

Now given this fact, I always seem to have a sentence, or two or even three going on in my head. Often these thoughts lead to more and I frantically search for anything to write it down on. Lately they seem to be coming to me while I am on the metro, which means I nervously type them out on the notepad ap on my Iphone. And I wonder why my hand hurts by the end of the trip.

I usually have no problem writing anywhere or while doing anything. Most times.That is a fantastic thing about writing right? Inspiration can hit you at any time and there is always the ability to take your work wherever you go. I have no shame in admitting I have written at 2 AM in the middle of IHOP on a piece of crinkled up napkin, simply because inspiration hit at that very moment. It also happened to be some of my best work, but this is besides the point here.

 But last night as I sat down to start jotting down for a blogpost that I had promised myself I would get to back in February I discovered something. I can not write while a hockey game is going on.

Why?

Because as I was writing out what I was going to talk about-which yes was about Disney-my sentence which was supposed to look something like this:

Some prefer getting there the moment the rope drops rushing to their favorite......

turned into looking a whole lot like this:

Some prefer getting there the moment the  puck drops rushing as sticks fly.....

I did not realize I had even done it until I started reading things back. And there was this common theme throughout most of the post, hockey words were thrown in there much like the above happenings. I immediately tore up, erased everything and put away my writing vowing it will have to wait. 

Apparently I stand corrected I can write wherever and for the most part whenever.

Except when there is a hockey game going on.

Then I may as well forget it.

Trade deadline.

Today is probably one of my husbands favorite days. Besides Logan's birthday and OK hopefully our anniversary. But today, well today is the NHL trade deadline day. Which may not be our anniversary but to this hockey loving household pretty much ranks right up there with Christmas morning.

But here is the thing, these past few years. Well the day has just been another day. If you are a fan of the Caps, you know that every year we get our hopes up that there will be this huge big trade. For weeks we sit by and watch rumors, and we hear things and we think well maybe, just maybe this is the year that General Manger George McPhee will wake up and actually do something. Of course you still have those that want the trade, but want to keep every player that we have at the same time. And those of us, well those of us that know how things work. Well, we know that isn't exactly how it works. In order to gain someone, you must be willing to lose someone.

This is besides the point.  This morning we woke knowing it was the day, the day that trades were going to be done and made. Finalized before the end of the season. Yep, it was going to be a good day. At least in some people's and some team's eyes that is.

And how did we fare this year? Did GM McPhee actually do something? Yes, to a point. Erat is finally gone, in his place Chris Brown. Penner  from the Ducks, is now a new Caps. And Nuevy is gone to Bufalo, and Halak is now our second goalie.

I will be honest other than Halak, I know very little about these players. So I can not speak much about it. And what do I think about the Halak deal? Not sure to be honest. Do I think it was the best decision, probably not. I think there could have been some better decisions however do I think it was the worst deals we have ever done. No. I will stand by my judgements of last years Erat pick up for that. But whether Halak and the others will be beneficial and the missing pieces to have the final push through the end of the season will remain to be seen....

And time will tell.

White out.

Well it seems Mother Nature is not willing to release her hold on winter just yet as another storm is pounding the DC area.

Awesome.

If it tells you anything, even my snow loving winter praising husband turned to me and announced he is through with it. Done. Finished.

Yes I too felt the ground shake on that one.

I keep reminding myself it will eventually let up right? It has to. But at the moment as I stare out my window where we are expecting about 7 inches, well I am beginning to think this is the new normal.

Which is kind of amazing considering the government and all are complaining about global warming, if this is true one would not think snow would be coming in during March. OK yes, I know March can be snowy, and all but still......come on. Give me a break.

I would love to go a week without having to shovel, worry about what I am going to do with work and sit in anticipation on what the school systems, including the university is going to do.

Perhaps I have said this already, but let me say it again, those around me better not complain when I relish in the summer months and beg for winter to return.

March on.

Woke up this morning to this: It somehow became March.

For some reason, despite the fact we are expecting more winter weather, and it is no where near those spring like temps one thinks of in March (or warmer should we say) the thought that it is, made me exceptionally happy.

Why?

Because even with the cold, well I know it can't last forever. And the days are getting longer. Next weekends time change well make them even more so. And because of spring break, and the trees that will soon be blooming. Kids will soon be running around playing around, chasing each other and laughing outside.

And there is something about a new month that makes us feel like a new beginning. A fresh start. So here is to that. Fresh starts, new beginnings.

And the beginning of a beautiful month...

The final push....degree here I come.

When I started Mason back in the fall of 2007 it seemed as though it was going to take no time to graduate. Sure I could do it part time in four years no problem. I told myself I would not in fact be like the majority of night (and adult) students who took one class at a time and ions to finish their degrees.

Looking back I laugh at this thought. Because what I didn't know is this. Life happens. Things get in the way. Babies, surgeries. Money. Jobs. It all has an impact. And before you know it those thoughts turn from well I will get it done in no time to, just let me finish. It doesn't matter how long it takes. As long as I finish right? Sure I have been close a couple of times, but with each step closer, there seemed to be something to come up, taking me two steps back. Pulling me further. Still I was determined to do it.

Wasn't I?

But something happened last night as I sat down to look into a summer class. Something I swore I would never do mind you. But as I looked at the class schedule, and the courses still need I stared, my mouth dropping. No, this could not be right. No no no.....I turned to my husband who sat at the other end of the couch oblivious to my whole train of thought.

What is it? he finally asks.

I think I can graduate in May....of 2015..

As in a year from now?

Yes.

The goal has never been so close. I double check with him, and do the math. It would be a stretch perhaps. But there is a summer class. Its online. And it only goes from the end of May, til the end of June. I would still have a summer. And it would leave me with four. Yes. FOUR. classes to go before graduation.

If I pushed myself I could quite possibly take two classes in the fall, and two in the spring. I would graduate.

The reality of the whole thing hit me. Because that goal, which I thought would take at least another two years just may be a lot closer than I thought.

Do you think you can do it? I think about it, its going to be a lot of work. But maybe I am ready for my whole education career to be over with. Maybe the next little over a year is going to suck. I am going to probably have to work my booty off. But in a lot of way. I am ready.

'If nothing more, just getting the summer class may mean I can graduate sometime in 2015 instead of 2016, 2017.'

And doesn't that sound fabulous.

 Yes. Yes it does.

Now just as long as the classes cooperate with my schedule then I will be double happy.

Here is to pushing myself for the next year. I got this.

February blues.

Ah February. 

It has always been a weird month. Sure its short, and we technically have a holiday. But for it being the shortest month of the year, it seems to take freaking forever. Perhaps it is the gloominess. Or the fact the days are stupidly (is this even a word) short. Its cold, its nasty and more than anything February seems to bring out this sense of blandness to the entire area.

Yes I know my son was born in February. So perhaps that is something enough to celebrate.

  

We spent a couple glorious days in the hot Florida sun where we pretended there wasn't a foot of snow heading our way and the words Polar Vortex never crossed our mind. And then there is the whole love theme going on around the world.  And OK at least this year the Olympics seemed to hold my attention long enough that for some reason the days passed relatively with ease.

But if you ask me, the month could go a little faster.

Goodbye Sochi.

It was kind of strange this morning waking up to no news about the Olympic games. What was going to air when. Or avoiding it all together so I don't find out the results. The hunt for the medals gone and done. And it is weird trying to figure out what I am going to watch this evening. Do I even care about the whole Juan Pablo thing? And realizing that no, in fact I do not. Not only that, but I haven't even really missed it.

Imagine that.

But of course this leaves me the question, what the hell am I a going to watch? I mean I enjoyed the fact I didn't have to sit through a reality show. And those staples that I lived for? Well yeah I sort of had forgotten all about them. I enjoyed watching the sports. The ones I have loved for years and the ones I was just finding out about. I enjoyed watching my son's reaction to the games as he 'skied' across the floor then pulled out an imaginary gun for his biathlon practice.  Yes, he has now decided he wants to do this. I am pretty sure its because of the whole gun thing, seeing that it isn't really something we fully allow in the house. This makes it that much cooler in a five year old's eyes.

And I enjoyed learning something new. Whether it was about the culture, or the games themselves. Or the fact that ice dancers have to have 50% of their bodies covered at all times. I mean you just would never know these things if you watched DWTS on a weekly basis.

Sure they came with controversy. There in fact didn't seem to be a day when something wasn't going on. Ice dancing, ladies singles. Even the bobsledders and ice hockey had their share of conspiracies going around. Then again, what is the Olympics without them? From what I remember it seems to be this way every year. Protests, and backlash. Things go wrong. Things go right. I will miss hearing about every one of these things in more ways than not. And thankfully, my uneasy feeling about the games did die down and go away. Thank the lord for that. I was not interested in seeing that at all. But I will miss a lot of things about the games.

I know I will find something on. Castle will be my staple. And I will inevitably get sucked into the whole Juan Pablo drama because there truly isn't anything else I am interested in at this moment. But for a moment, and for the day. I kind of miss the whole Olympic vibe that was going on.

The blame game

Yesterday I watched-like most around the world did the same-as Finland beat Russia in a win and your playing for a medal, or go home and think about it for the next four years hockey game. For Finland it was a chance to prove they belonged. For Russia it meant everything and so much more. Perhaps even more so after the U.S. game the previous Saturday. If you watched it-and let’s be honest, how could you not have done so, you know what happened there. And it meant something especially to Alex Ovechkin who from the moment the announcement came of it being held in Sochi, had become the spokesman, the face and the name of the games.

These were just as much his games as it was Putin’s it seemed.

Finland won, eliminating Russia. There would be no gold for the home country. There in fact would be no medal for the home country at all.

The moment the buzzer sounded signaling the end of the game, thousands of hearts seem to burst. Twitter seemed to have fallen silent, Facebook soon followed. Russia stood still. How could this happen, how how how???

The solution it seemed was to blame the one guy who was supposed to make it happen. The one player who was supposed to come through no matter what for team Russia. Ovechkin. I guess it makes sense. But as I sat watching from my cube in America, while he spoke to the media my heart broke. Even if I was rooting for the U.S. and OK the fact they were out of it did make me smile a little broader, my heart still ached.

Why?

Because he took the fall, despite the fact that hockey last I checked was not an individual effort. It is a team effort. No one mentioned the lack of performance from Malkin, or Semin. Varly. All of who had just as much of an equal hand in the loss as Ovechkin. But no, it was not them that they blamed.  And did we notice it was none of them who were even willing to speak to anyone? At least Ovi was willing to face the music, good or bad. He took it.

Now I am not saying he did not have faults, because when it comes down to it, no he did not perform up to anyone standards, including his own. What I am saying is this.  It takes more than just one person to win or lose a game. And blaming it solely on one player is not going to do you any good. I am sure as the days, weeks and perhaps years go by, players will come forward and admit fault, blame it on coaching on half KHL, half NHL system that they were under.  Ovi while may not be viewed as the hometown hero anymore will at least see the pressure off his shoulders a little. Perhaps they will even admit what they should have been focusing on was how to come together as a team rather than playing at 20 plus individuals with egos. That it was unfair to blame such things on one sole individual-no I do not see this happening, but we could hope.-Perhaps then the outcome would have been different.

Though at the moment, its little consolation to a game that meant so much to a country.

A long lazy weekend.

You know what's amazing? Having a long weekend. Even more so when the expected three day weekend, turns into a long five day weekend. Thank you snowstorm. Yes that is right, the snowstorm actually worked in my advantage once and the 18 inches of snow ensured we were home for two extra days.

Of course this makes the thought of going in to work tomorrow that much harder. But isn't that always the way it is.

And how did we spend the five days? Well for starters Anderson and I actually did work from home for the couple of days, because thankfully we were given permission to do so. We also spent the better part of the weekend, OK try most of the weekend in front of the TV watching the Olympics at all odd hours of the day which meant we were able to watch a good chunk of things live. Something we thought we would never be able to given Russia's 9 hours ahead time difference.

What we did not do, was think much of a lot of things. Cleaning got to, Logan was entertained. And life was quiet for the past couple of days.

Which all returns back to normal tomorrow at 4:15 am when the first chime of the alarm will start to go off....

So who do you root for?

This is not my photo, I do not take credit for it.

This morning my son and I got up early to watch the hockey match between the U.S. and Russia. Even before the start of the games, the match had been well talked about.

Especially in our house. Where we pretty much eat sleep and breath hockey on any given day. Olympics or otherwise. But for obvious reasons, this game has been highly talked about and anticipated by the likes of myself, my husband and little man himself, who is just excited to see hockey.

Even if he doesn't fully get it.

Admittedly at five, he has no idea the significance of the game. He does not know just how important it means to the Russians. Does not get what winning the gold would mean to them. And the only thing he knows about the Miracle on Ice is that its the signed and framed picture that hangs in our hockey themed basement, a picture he isn't allowed to touch of daddy's.

What he does know is this. His favorite hockey player-and self proclaimed best friend-wears yellow skate laces, is missing a tooth and plays for his favorite hockey team in D.C. He also just happens to be Russian.

And thus begins the great debate. The who do you root for one. For Logan it is simple, Russia he yells as the puck dropped. Yet he couldn't understand why I wasn't for Ovi. I did not know how to explain to him, that while I want Ovi to do well and I wish him well. For the moment, and for the next week I just want the .U.S.A to do better than him.  I will say, while I had no problem rooting against him, and them it definitely was odd to hear his name and think of him as the 'enemy.' And it brings up a good point.

Who do you root for? Do you root for an individual player, because I will admit I want Ovi to have a fabulous Olympics. Or do you root for the team? And is there a way to do a little bit of both and still not look like a trader on either end?

Happy Valentine's Day

From my house to yours

Happy Valentine's Day. 

May it be filled with laughter, love and hope.

Team Olympics.

Maybe you haven't heard, but I love the Olympics. And if you ask me to choose between winter or summer, I would have a hard time doing so. I love them for different reasons.

That being said, I tend to watch more of the winter as I happen to like and find most of the sports fascinating. Whereas in the summer, I can't get into track and field, sorry but I can't. Funny considering I am a summer kind of girl.

One of my favorite things about the Olympics is this. Just because I am an American, and I will root for team USA doesn't mean I don't root and cheer and am excited for other teams whether it be USA, Canada or Russia. I bring this up because my father asked me the other day what do I feel about hockey, who would I root for because as an American I should root for USA, but Ovi (Washington Capitals forward) is on Russia. So in a way you want to root for him, consequently them right? He asked what would I do.

My answer was this. I root for them all. I wish them all well. Do I want U.S to win? Absolutely but at the same time, I will root for Russia, because well I want Ovi to do well just as much as I want Backstrom representing Sweden to do well.

And I love that just because I am American doesn't mean I have to side with them, or that I can't be thrilled for other teams. I know that we are not the best at everything, I know others deserve to win their races, just as much as we do. Why shouldn't they. This is their moments just as much as it is ours.

So who will I root for? I will root for teamolympics. Because for a moment, we all are on it.

Hello I am a Disneyholic.

Hello, my name is Aleisha and I am a Disneyholic. While many are slaving away behind their desks dreaming of warm sunny beach, or snowy mountains. I am dreaming of the fab five, and of Mickey bars. And O'hanna right about the time the sun hits the water. Man I love that time of day.

It started back in elementary school. This love of mine with the most magical place and Earth. Though it did not fully come in to light until 2006, when I brought my new husband to the parks. And I am not so ashamed to admit I have gotten my husband hooked on it as well.

Ever since then, the need has gotten worse. I go through withdraws if I go to long in between trips. I plan, and replan and spend hours invisioning what we will be doing. I reserve dinners, count down days and do anything possible to ensure I get at least a daily dose.

I want nothing more than to be strolling down Main St, or jumping in line for Space Mountain no matter what they wait time says. And I love watching kids enjoy Mickey Bars even if I can't partake in them. All I need to do is close my eyes and I am there. In the middle of it all. Just one thought, and my fix may not be totally cured but at least I feel at ease again.

Yes it is bad. 

This is only enhanced when a unbelievable deal comes through my inbox with flights that would get us there in two hours for less than $400 round-trip. I nearly decide to do it, because 172 days doesn't seem quite soon enough. Even if I have just returned. I slide over and check everything out, and bite my tongue because it is possible. Maybe just a short long weekend trip with just the husband and I is what is in order.

And just as any addict, the temptation is great. What is one more hit going to hurt right? Even though you know you shouldn't and you know you want to but its not the right thing to do. It is moments like this when I have to step away from my computer and resist the temptation. Because it truly is that great of a deal.

And what is once more during the year going to hurt? I am proud to say thus far I have stayed away from the super deal, and managed to close all browsers. Reminding myself, 172 days truly isn't all that long right? Until then I will try to live through various friends and followers who are heading down to get my fix. Because its a lot better than spending money I don't have, or should spend elsewhere.

I am sure somewhere there is a group for people like me, though they all reside down in Disney by now.  Though to be honest, this isn't an addiction I am willing to let go.

And it sure beats the alternative.

Birthday Bash to the finish line.

Well we survived the final birthday bash blowout. Despite sicknesses and weather concerns. We made it. 

And it was quite the success. 9 bouncy and happy five year olds-and a couple of almost 10 year old cousins-came, ate and bowled, and left in a sugar filled comatose.  Sure maybe a kid or two that responded didn’t show up, or backed out last minute but I can’t think of a time, that doesn’t happen.  And in all honesty, 9 was a perfect number for the age. I don’t think he could have handled many more.   

I owe a big thank you to my parents, my mom for handling a lot of the up top portions, getting things together and making sure juices were poured and stuff as I was not feeling well. And my dad, for being on the lanes and helping the kids bowl.  Of course it helps my dad is a bowler. I grew up in bowling alleys and he spends a lot of his free time there on leagues.  But yes, I owe them so much for their help here.

After as we were on our way home, he mentioned how it was over until next year. A fact that made him a little sad, but he also totally understood. And maybe it is bad of me, but I kind of took a deep breath. Yes, it was. Don’t get me wrong, I love my son, he is the light of my life and my reason for doing what I do on a daily basis. But he did have quite the epic 5 year birthday. A trip to Disney, a birthday bash celebration at the happiest place on Earth. And the birthday party this weekend. The kid has definitely been in heaven lately.  It has also been exhausting, even if he doesn’t want to admit it himself; the kid has asked to go to bed at 6:30 the past several nights. Believe me this never happens anymore. 

He also made it clear- in only the way he can- that he knows this won’t happen every year.  And he is totally ok with that.  Though he wouldn’t object either. And he is already scheming for next year. Seeing that it is 51 weeks away he figures he has plenty of time to figure out what to do next. 

And after the whirlwind and the excitement of this birthday, well I better start planning. Seeing that this year is going to be pretty hard to top.

Mickeyitis.

It never fails.  EVER.

I come home from a great vacation, and end up getting sick.  It doesn't matter where. Disney, Boston, North Carolina or somewhere in between. And it doesn't matter when, it could be the middle of summer or spring. Or in this case. The middle of a long cold winter.  But within the week of my return I enevidably find myself feeling like.

Shit.

I always find names for these sicknesses. This one is Mickeyitis. And if your wondering what my symptoms are its suffering from lack of warm, and sun. Its breaking out into random song withdraw in the middle of Main Street USA. Its missing the fab five in ways no one truly can understand. Unless they are suffering from the same thing, or have in the past month. And it is glancing at the buses in your local area and thinking, it looks exactly like the transportation system around the parks except they are actually bringing you to places you want to go to.  And it is definitely disappointment in knowing that someone at the very moment is sitting at a table at Ohanna having the best dessert on property.

My head hurts even more from just thinking about it.

I try to tell myself these symptoms will slowly disappear and I will be feeling well enough to be seen in public, but that does not do much to help my snotty nose and sore throat at the moment.

I hear the only cure is another trip to Disney, which again is hard to understand unless you are suffering from Mickeyitis.

Which means, must go back.