And the winner is...

Award season has finally arrived. For the most part I tend to forget about them and only seem to watch them out of boredom.Most of the time I tend to disagree with who wins, who is nominated. And since having little man, I don't get around to half of the movies I want to see. Besides I prefer the music awards, as I am an avid music lover. And OK the fact that I worked in the music industry (radio anyway) for two years probably has something to do with it it Although even that has become more of a performance based show that is making me feel incredible old as the years go by. Probably because I am. But this is another story.

I watched last night to kill time while little man fell asleep in my arms-which he did half hour into the show-and instead of changing the station I just remained watching it. And while I am no critic, here are some of my thoughts regarding last nights glitz, glamor and awards.

1. In order to make it in Hollywood these days, you must be foreign. 

I watched and listened to the red carpet interview and one by one noticed that they were English, or Australian. Irish. You name it. I mean I knew there were those actors from across the pond, but I suppose I just didn't realize  how many there actually where. Lets name a few shall we,,

Nicole Kidman, Keith Urban, Hugh Jackman, Adele, Damien Lewis, Ewan McGregor. Daniel Day Lewis, Daniel Craig, Helen Mirren...to name a few.

No wonder Madonna has suddenly come up with a britsh accent. Apparently its the cool thing to do.

2. Taylor Swift is a sore loser.

Now, I will admit. I love TS's music, not ashamed to admit I belt out her tunes from time to time. And her perfume is used so much its the first perfume I have ever actually gone through an entire bottle, and gone back for more. And yes she is gorgeous, she can rock just about anything and look amazing-which is totally disgusting I may add. But did anyone else catch that look when Adele was named winner? Seriously, she looked like she was about to send out a hit man on her. Note to self: pray that you are never up against TS for an award. Hire bodyguard if you are. Taylor, I love you but you could at least act like your happy for them...you can't win them all girly.  Or maybe you can/should according to you.

3. Jon Bon Jovi doesn't age.

Seriously he doesn't. I do not know if this fact scares me, or gives me hope for the future. But I am pretty sure he looks exactly like he did back when I was a kid. Well minus the whole 80s hair. One thing from the decade I hope never comes back thank you very much.

4.There is no way Claire Danes just had a baby.

Did you see her?? Her post baby body is incredible. Even I am a bit jealous of it. I mean there is just no way she had one...which leads me to believe there is some sort of conspiracy we don't know about. Either that or she was photoshopped in. You know the magic of television and all.

5. Jodie Foster is alive, despite my concerns otherwise.

And actually made an excellent point. Whether you are making fun of her coming out to the world or not is one thing-I am not, could care less-the fact that she got up there, and did a 8 minute speech on the media's obsession with the need to know is pretty incredible. She is absolutely right, everyone deserves their privacy and who are we to demand that we know the ins and outs of their every day life's, including who they are involved with romantically??

Overall it was not a bad show, Amy and Tina did have some funny moments and kept it light-hearted.  And a lot of the speeches this year seemed to keep up with the same sort of thoughts, joking and laughing and making fun of one another. Yes there were snubs and pictures that you would have thought would have won but didn't. Actors that should have won, but didn't. That's the way its going to be. Not everyone is going to like something, not everyone is going to agree...

And thats the true beauty of Hollywood.

New Years, new names please?

I suppose I should start off by saying Happy New Year. I hope this year brings you love, laughter and life. May it in fact be your best year yet. I know I for sure am glad to see 2011 go...I mean as stated, it was a pretty awful year in my eyes.

And now that 2012 has officially begun I figured it was a pretty good idea to list a few names I think 2012 can deal without. Of course this is in no way anyone else opinions than my own and realize that my views may not be the same as the next. Still here is my list of people that I think should be filled in the 2011 vault and be put away until we so choose.

1. Kim Kardashian.

Or the whole Kardashian clan rather. I really don't see what America finds fascinating about this girl and her family. And the whole 72 day marriage thing, if you asked me was way over the top. Most Americans don't go out and get married like that on a whim and then say Opps. I made a mistake. OK so yes I get it, a lot of couples these days DO find themselves thinking this. But half the time its never as forgiving as Hollywood marriages are. And divorce never is as fast as Hollywood. Yet somehow Kim K does this and its suddenly acceptable. Seriously? No wonder why marriage these days isn't what it used to be. No wonder kids think its ok to just run off and get married.


2. Lindsay Lohan.

Does it really surprise anyone that she still parties, that she still drinks and that she is on probation for the better part of the year? Because if it does, you must be the only one. And why do we feel the need to only feed into her addiction even more is beyond me. The girl needs help, not a slap on the wrist. But actual help. I just fear by the time we figure this out, she will be already gone.  Come to think of it, she is just about 2 yrs shy of 27....


3. Justin Beiber

I get the whole cute teen boy gets a big break from a super mega star artist. Its called luck. And I get I am not fifteen and so my point of view is somewhat, sounding adult. But I am sorry I just don't see what is so damn fascinating about this kid. And what disturbs me even more than the talent I don't get? Is watching The Today show, or flipping through the latest copy of People and finding women old enough to be my mom fawning over him. Plastering their third bedrooms with posters of him from floor to ceiling and thinking its perfectly ok. I mean yes I too plastered my walls with Nick Carter and BSB posters back in the day, but the difference is, I was actually 17. If the roles were reversed, men would be arrested or heavily questioned-along with being called pervs-for doing the same thing.

4. The Twilight Gang


Much like the Beiber deal, I get the whole book crazed turn to movie thing. I get the cute boys and the pretty lead. Throw in a love triangle both on-and off?- the screen and you have an epic hollywood story in the making. But I read the books, and wasn't impressed. And the movies? Can be worth a watch on a Friday night with nothing to do. And they make wonderful jokes, I mean the screenplay isn't the best. Pretty sure you won't find 'Stop being such a marshmallow' going down as one of the most memorable lines ever. But is it worth such mass hysteria across the world?? And again, the fact that women older than my mom are tattooing themselves up, and decorating the house with team Edward and team Jacob posters, kind of disturbing. Just as much as that I drive like a Cullen on the back of Jaguar does.  I am probably the only one who will be glad to be rid of the series once and for all.

5. Casey Anthony.

 Enough said.

I realize in reality, these names will still continue to haunt me for the next year. And even if these names do fall off the face of the Earth, there is always someone else waiting to take their place.

HAPPY NEW YEAR.

Tonight, We've got it going on.

So here I go being all fifteen again. I really thought by the age of thirty one that I would have handled this whole crush thing a lot better than I do.

Apparently not. All you need to say is one name and I am a total goner.

Nick.

Now, I would have thought that I would have somehow moved on, gotten over him and forgotten it all together. Considering I am married, I am pretty sure my husband wished this as well.

But alas, it appears as though I have not. Nick Carter still does it for me. I still ran to the computer back in December and waited until the moment that clock struck ten in the morning exactly, before logging on and searching for the tickets to the NKOTBSB show in DC in June. At the time it seemed like an eternity away. I still kept hitting back until I found the tickets that would get me as close as humanly possible. After all, I needed to be able to see his pores, the blue of his eyes. I needed it. Just as much as I needed air. I didn't give up until I had no other option, and got three rows back from the seated section. No, maybe not as close as we dream of. But its a hell of a lot better than the nosebleeds. Besides, who wanted to stand all night anyway? And I still counted down until this very night when they nine guys hit the stage. As if I was fifteen and in high school again.

There is no doubt I am the only one doing so. Whether they want to admit it or not. I know I do not stand alone in my boy band pride. The show is sold out and has been for months now.

But unlike so many shows in the past, I don't have my partner in crime to be fifteen with. My co partner who got married last week and while she is waiting to go on her honeymoon until later this month, thought that it was to early still to leave her husband. Afraid I was going to end up going on my own I convinced another friend she would just have to go with me, even if its for the enjoyment of having loads of amo to hold over my head for the next several years to come. Well that or it was she was going to be dragged to Kenny Chesney tomorrow, and since country and her never seemed to fit she picked the lesser of the two evils so to say.

She will have to be my co-partner in crime.
Though I fear she will have to be warned. If she hasn't already.

There is dif a little bit of a different vibe than it used to. I am no longer that fifteen year old girl who dreams of marrying Nick, I won't be wearing tube tops with his name across my chest, and the jeans that I made for their concert a decade ago. Instead there will be beer bottles and alcohol. There will be middle aged women swooning over their love for the NKoTB, whom my older sister followed. Ten years ago, you wouldn't catch a man coming ten feet within the arena they were even playing, now their will be husbands and wives, and boyfriends and girlfriends. And there will be daughters with their moms who were barely alive when I want it that way was a huge hit. They will make me feel old. There is no doubt about that one.

And yet, there will be ladies like myself, who are in our late twenties and early thirties, who followed them back then, and still follow them to this day. I am sure there are still a few out there that hold out hope that they will still marry Nick. How can they not? Even myself still dream of it. Though I know how unrealistic that is. Still, we hope. We dream. We still remember their every dance move, we will dance in the aisles, and in our seats and anywhere else they will allow it.

And pretend that for one more night.
We are still fifteen.
And anything is possible.

Sucker

Abc, what can I say. You have done it again. I swear I wasn't going to let you suck me into such overrated, predictable drama again. I vowed I would not watch, would not sit there week after week as one by one the girls would cry in front of the camera, exclaiming they are the one who is meant to be with the bachelor. They do these crazy antics, go way overboard and throw themselves at him and then sob as they are let go. I always find it amazing how many of them can't figure out why they weren't chosen at all.

I vow I won't get sucked in as I watch the couples go on the exotic dates. Feeling jealous as I watch because while I am married, there is a part of me that would love the opportunity for just half of what these ladies get to experience in the span of a few weeks.

And yet no matter how much I vowed, I find myself sitting here on the couch, with my husband nearly a foot away watching the very show I swore off just a few months ago. No, I can't explain it really. I know its not real, believe me I have noticed some Eire similarities between certain seasons, contestants and even episodes. And yet somehow your amazing ability to suck the viewer in has once again worked on this sole.

Somewhere across my forehead the word SUCKER is written all over it.

Death of my Teen Idol

I have a confession, yes another one. They seem to come frequent these days. But here it is.

Nick Carter was not my first love.

That title belongs to the man on the right. Johnathan Brandis. I would not consider this my first crush-that goes to a boy named Josh, he lived two blocks away from me. At ten I thought he was super cute. But once I got my first sights on Johnathan, it was all over. I am also pretty certain this was the beginning of my fascination and love with the blonde haired blue eyed pretty boys. But that's for another blog entry.

So yes Johnathan Brandis was my first love.

It started back in 1992. I was a twelve year old nerdy girl with freezy hair and an expander in my mouth. He a young actor getting his BIG break in the movie Ladybugs. He spoke, I think I cried. He laughed I sighed. It was your typical pre-teen fascination that soon turned into buying every magazine he was plastered on, spending hours rereading articles he was in until I had memorized every little detail, from his birthday to his favorite drink. I doodled his name surrounded by hearts and swore that someday, I was destined to meet him, and marry him. The room I shared with my sister turned into a JB shrine...

I was in love, ok maybe even a little of the obsessed kind but I was now thirteen, and so I think its only fitting that every female go through this with at least one celebrity.

By the time I was in high school Brandis was a known name. He had already done several movies, and was now on a TV show called SEAQUEST DSV. I'm probably not the only one to admit their main reason for being into the show was him. In fact I think the creators knew exactly what they were doing.And just as I had with the movies, I watched every Sunday night just so I could get a glimpse of the young actor...back then there was no DVR or TIVO and so I scheduled my activities around it, which wasn't all that hard to do since I didn't have that much of a social life. I would tape the show, and re-watched it over and over until the tapes were worn out. I bought the t-shirts, the character figurines. Anything I could get my hands on. Once again, can we say obsessed. Umm yeah.

The show lasted three years breaking my heart along with it.

After, he seemed to fade into the woodwork. Showing up here and there, but nothing major came out of it. He seemed to be just another one of those child actors that you hear about. You know the kind that make it big as a kid and then you never hear or see them again. That kind. Which was a shame, because back then I didn't think he was all that bad of an actor.I always hoped for a comeback of some sort. Who doesn't.

And I never stopped wondering when he would.

But seven years ago. On this very day. My questions were answered. I logged on to the internet to find that my teen idol, the very first guy I ever loved. Had killed himself. Hung himself more like it. Feeling the pressure of a failing career and never really making it to the kind of success that he wanted.

He was 27.

Once again my heart broke. No one wants to think that any one they loved, even if it was a never going to happen sort of thing would be that desperate enough that they felt they had no other way out. But most of time no one thinks that the famous are among the several who fight with the feelings of loneliness, of failure of being so down and out that they would even dream or imagine such an act. And yet it seems that behind the scenes of the rich and the famous, lies the underground secret. Life isn't easy. For anyone. Even to this day, I read about another young Hollywood star being admitted into another rehab center, or that their attempt in suicide had failed and think that nothing has changed much since that November day seven years ago. Even with all the attempts at making it more known, and more publicized it seems it has done little to address the issue of it.

And it makes me question everything about Hollywood. About the pressures that we as a society puts on these kids, and what really is considered a failure. Because I am pretty sure a successful stint on a popular TV show, and a couple of big movies does not mean you failed. Especially not at such a young age. Not when you have your whole life ahead of you.

But how do we get that out to them before its to late?

Before they become another falling star who left us far to soon.