A sisterly kind of birthday round 2

The birthday girl, back in the 70's.

Dear Burgandy-

You turned another year older yesterday. I called and wished you a happy birthday as I always do with each passing year. I wished you a happy birthday, hoped next year would be a great year and added how I hoped you had many many more to come.

And there was silence. It was that sort of awkward silence when I didn't know what more to say. Distance does that to people I suppose. I know there was more I could have said, and I didn't. And so because it was your birthday yesterday. And because I never got around to it. I wanted to tell you everything I should have said. Everything I had thought of after I hung up.

And so without further ado here it goes....

You have always been the star, I stood in your shadows and watched from behind the stages curtains as you danced, sang and acted your way through the years. Back then I am sure I was nothing more than  the annoying little sister with crushes on your high school friends. And yet not once did I feel that way. No, you always brought me backstage, which made me big stuff! And introduced me to Katie, and Jina, and Steve and all the others whose names are escaping me. And you let me attend birthday parties, even though I was only twelve and really had no business hanging out with eighteen year old kids during scavenger hunts...you never complained once. You will never know just how much that meant to me.

Me and my big sis circa 1982ish

  And just as it was with Hillary, I know it wasn't easy to have a sister with 'special needs' I am sure it wasn't quite the fairytale you dreamed of.  I recall mom telling me the story of how you had informed her how sorry you felt for me at one time.  And she told you never to do that. And for this I am thankful. I truly believe I would not be the same person I am today had it not been for the support and the encouragement of you and mom and dad, back in those early years as a toddler.

Funny thing is, looking back I don't remember you ever complaining about having to put up with me. Or help me out. Or do any of those odd things that sisters usually never have to do for the other. Not once. Instead you were always there. Telling me I could be that astronaut I wanted to be.  And you where there when the kids beside us made fun of me.

And you were there through Spencer.  Totally getting the 'special' friend he was.

I don't think you know, just how much I learned from you. But its true, learned a lot from you dear sis. I watched you date in high school, and all of the guys that broke your heart. And just how strong you came back.  Never letting them keep you down for long. You taught me never to settle for anything less than I deserved when it comes to the love department. You taught me to respect myself, my morals and my life.  I learned going into Georgetown in the middle of the nights when my parents thought I was out at the movies, isn't the smartest idea-thanks for the heads up.-and I learned that sometimes all one really needs is a sister through it all.

Burg in Ruthless summer 11'

This past summer I got to do something I hadn't been able to do in a long time. I sat there in the middle of the theater and watched as you performed in a significant part in front of people, for the first time since you were in college. And I cried. Look at my sister, I was so incredible proud of her. She was brilliant. More than anyone had ever dreamt of. It had been so long, but you hadn't lost that spark you had so long ago been blessed with. It was so awesome to see you up there and I hope that you continue to let your acting bug bite...

I am so thankful I got to see you in that show. Still that little sister watching from now the seats, proud to know that you are up there. Though this time, I promised I didn't ask for one autograph!

Burgandy Christmas 10'

And beyond your talents, your gifts you are an incredible person. An amazing aunt, a creative artist. I see a lot of moms talents in so many aspects of you! The fact you still stick and root for the home team, no matter how much they suck at any given year. Perhaps mom and dad really knew what they were doing when they named you, despite what they say. And despite the fact that we root for two different teams, I would like to think my love of hockey has rubbed off on you, even if it is only slightly, I know the majority of the impact and thanks should go to Scott.

I know life hasn't always happened the way you wanted and thought it would be. Sometimes that is the best thing about life. Before I end this, I want to remind you of some lessons you have taught me over the years.

• Be true to yourself, love with all your heart.
• Never say I can't. Because I for one know you can.
• Never sell yourself short. You are a lot more talented, more beautiful and smarter than you think you are.
• Don't settle for anything less than you deserve.
• You are your worst critic. Don't let this stop you from achieving the impossible.
• Men come and go, but a sister doesn't.

Please don't forget these. I still have a lot to learn....

Love always,

your little sis.